but what if you’re dating James Joyce

I mean, I did once find a nice knife out on the street after a drug bust, which I absolutely kept.

Many times as a child I fell prey to his liquid nitrogen sprayer... dratted warts. I feel you. :P

ehhh... my dear old dad’s a dermatologist specializing in skin cancer and does very little cosmetic stuff

It was my second week of college. I thought my parents were coping well; I certainly was. Then I made the mistake of leaving my cellphone in my room all day, and forgetting to check it that night.

Ya beat me to it. :P

On a trans-Atlantic flight, I was seated in front of two young British men and a middle-aged American lady. As best I could tell, they’d never met each other before, but the ample amounts of booze they were imbibing quickly turned them into best friends. Loud best friends. I put in earbuds and managed, eventually, to…

It takes my guy 45-60 min. to come, usually, even if he’s masturbating, and my friend’s BF takes about that long as well. There must be a massive standard deviation (hurr) with that average.

I tried to pick a couple fights in high school—always for good causes, of course, such as someone getting bullied or some guy sexually harassing me. They never quite materialized. The bullies always backed down, either because they were chickenshit or because they didn’t want to fight a girl (or both). I’m still…

NEVER has this Vine been more relevant.

Seriously though—masochist and lover of a good pounding though I may be, if the manfellow goes in hard at just the wrong angle it’s an instant tears-to-the-eyes-ladyparts-closed-for-business nopefest.

Data, is that you?

We who dwell in darkness salute you. Remember ussss... *fades into the abyss*

At twenty, even with plenty of lube and foreplay, and me being very much into it, the first *two* times he couldn’t get it all the way in and there was just so much blood. So much. (There might’ve been blood the third time but I was on my period so it just blended in with the rest.) I guess I’m saying that while your…

It can feel almost wrinkly—like a walnut with the outer hull removed, but squishy.

I definitely had that thought right in the middle of having sex for the first time: “Damn it, now I can’t catch unicorns.” Did I say that aloud, much to my partner’s confusion? You betcha.

I get that, but cats have insanely good kidneys—such that they can actually survive on salt water if needs be. So if this is getting the cat to drink more liquid in general, it’s probably fine.

Ohoho! I may have to soldier through books 2 and 3 now, because 4 sounds lovely. Thanks for the reply!

Also! The first of the series, The Boss, is available to read, freely and legally, on SmashWords. It certainly hit a sweet spot for me: kinky sex without the angst. It kinda got rinse-and-repeat after a while, though—and from what I hear, the second book has a lot of drama all of a sudden? So I’ve been hesitating to…