If someone punches you in the mouth and knocks some of your teeth out, would it be fine to not empathize with you if you had dental coverage? Would it still hurt? :)

Love the straightforwardness of your humor, bro. Not afraid to tackle the low hanging fruit.

HANDS UP, DON'T LET IT ROLL!

I hit a deer with the very first press car I ever got. I was supposed to have the car for a month, and it spent three of those weeks at the dealer getting fixed. I had it just long enough to drive it back to LA and turn it in.

Either you don't know what "embarrassing" is, or you were just looking for a good excuse to tell people of that time you drifted a Maybach. I'm leaning on the latter.

This is the furthest thing from embarrassing.

Once I managed to get a media drive in a Maybach 62 around 17-mile drive during Pebble Beach Week (I think it would have been 2004?)

Anyway... I was driving it like an old man and the rep prodded me to "explore" it a little more. So I drove the last half of the drive quite a bit more "briskly." At one point, I got it…

I once had an elderly woman driving towards me on the wrong side the road with her wipers on and it wasn't raining. But yeah, she was driving slow.

Those damn floormats.

Plot twist: he wasn't pressing the gas pedal

When a joke is this old, it's natural to experience ED once in a while.

This is a dumb post.

I also like it that Vanderbilt, the best and most prestigious and selective and US News and World Report number whatever school in the SEC, can't spell "coherent," just like the rest of that league.

The look on his face is chilling. Glad he's moving now.

That was surprisingly good

You could buy one and find out for yourself.

I've been doing this job for well over a year now, and I think I've seen one deal on Google Play credit (that didn't involve a ton of other caveats). For some reason, iTunes deals are just way more common.

I've been doing this job for well over a year now, and I think I've seen one deal on Google Play credit (that didn't…

this is all public information, freely available on the Internet and in print. How the fuck do you think I found it?