So he’s an immortal shape-shifting alien and he chooses to look like that?

Bill Clinton should have gone with “I am not, at the present time, receiving a blowjob.”

... And they are both equally “good” at it.

He claimed that he felt “20 years younger.”  Well no shit.  They gave him several treatments of supplemental oxygen, dosed him up with steroids, and likely kept him away from the KFC bucket for a couple days.  Of course he’s feeling better.

Yes, my metaphor for stopping this bullshit “both sides” argument is exactly like the President of the United States inciting domestic terrorists to violence if he doesn’t win the election on live television. Exactly.

One of those old men is not like the other and any attempt at “both sides”-ing this catastrophe needs to be strangled in the cradle.

“Dancing With The People Desperately Clinging to 15 Minutes of Fame That Expired Long Ago” didn’t test as well with the focus groups.

Cool! Then get out there and say that stuff. Be motivating! Lord knows this country needs more motivating voices out there. I’m not being sarcastic.

But... I mean... what if you already had that on your schedule for Saturday night? Like penciled in on the calendar and everything: “Saturday, 1pm: go to library and get surgical textbooks. Saturday, 9pm: masturbate.”  I mean, it couldn’t hurt, right?  Every little bit helps?

This needs to run as a double-feature with Contagion.

Every time I see that commercial I think “you can do so much better than him!”

Lights out!
Guerrilla radio!
Turn that shit up!

I am terrible (TERRIBLE!) at these games, but god bless I love them so much anyway. I was terrible at them 20 years ago and I am still terrible at them today and I am having so much fun.

Sadly gotta agree here. The menus are kind of a hot mess. And I agree with Sam that I wish it had better custom skater options.

There is a “Blockbuster Laundromat” near me that I’m sure has a similar tale.

Poorly planned, unsafe, drunk, and run by capitalist sociopaths?  Yeah, that checks out.

They even rolled out some of the original commercials when they tried out the nostalgia branding.  I’m a little sad they didn’t stick with it, but really, it was a very stupid idea.

You speak of the Tarzan Swing and you were smart to avoid it. Fun Fact: the pool beneath that swing was fed by a natural mountain spring and was always frigid even in the height of summer. I believe one of the Action Park deaths was due to the shock of that cold water. Not a joke.

Jesus christ people like you are infuriating. It’s a tragedy that you will probably survive this and learn absolutely nothing.

Thank you for being a shining example of why Americans are still dying in the thousands from Covid.  Take it seriously, jackass.