I’m seeing so many of these stories I’m starting to suspect The Root isn’t read by a lot of white people.

There’s words like “big” and “mac”, and “fries” that can be sounded out. 

If I was a bettin’ woman, I’d lay money down on “hasn’t peed standing up in at least 10 years.”

He’s obviously a visual learner.

Well, McDonalds’ menu has pictures, so the words are irrelevant.

I mean...this is the guy they invented participation trophies for.

Tell him he’s not superlative, and after someone tells him what that means watch him cry.

Error: Hamburder not found. Abort!

Well yeah he has a lot more information than you about what a solar eclipse looks like to the naked eye, doesn’t he? Now our nation is more secure!

She added: “Also the president make one stinky in diapey, and ate all his peas.”

I abhor that information rectally.

President Donald Jean Trump is not the most anything on the planet Earth.

“he also consumes intelligence verbally”

Instead, he asked that he be orally briefed by South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham, who heard the word “oral” and got all excited until he learned that it just meant reading shit the president won’t read.

It means that every time he says anything, it makes everybody that hears his voice dumber.

A functional morality?

I regurgitated that statement nasally.

He can read and drink water with one hand, what more do you libtards want in a president?!?

“he also consumes intelligence verbally”

I’m sorry, but what the fuck is that?

This President, I will tell you, is the most informed person on planet Earth