To be really fair, this sounds like the sort of situation where if you absolutely had to speak to the manager, you had four or even five days before your reservation date to call and make sure they were going to be open.

I see her point. I doubt I’d want to go someplace that messed up that big and didn’t at least try to make a good faith effort to do anything about it. The restaurant could have handled it better, like actually calling the people with reservations to explain what happened or offering a free appetizer or dessert. It's…

It’s the best not having to think up an entire meal every day, but just fill in gaps from stuff you’ve already cooked. There are downsides to cooking alone (I’ll come cook with you!!) like if you make soup, you gotta eat it for like a week. But you get as many lamb chops as you want.

I sat for an embarrassingly long time trying to find a uterine-based pun for “Stand your ground” but couldn’t find one. :(

Child Support Begins At Conception Act!!

If it makes you feel any better, give me like 15 years and I won’t be able to do it anymore.

I feel like fertilized eggs are more inside the box thinkers, no? 

Mr. Moon would also footnote the bill to likely include exclusion if the fertilized egg results in PoC or not

Just start suing dudes for child support as soon as that egg is fertilized and they will shut that shit down real quick.

Huh. I guess it’s never too soon for me to start my career counseling business for fertilized eggs. “Tell me, fertilized egg, what would you say is your greatest strength.” “I’m a real outside of the box thinker.” “Tell me about your greatest weakness?” “Well, I think I’m just a little too driven, I just work too hard…

What happens when a mother dies in childbirth, from complications of said childbirth? Is that child now a murderer?

“Don’t make us come in there!”

The likelihood is that some point in time in my life, due to some biologic what not or my birth control not being entirely up to snuff or a huge number of other issues, I have expelled a fertilized egg. And have absolutely no knowledge of this. It was probably less noticeable than the few times I’ve ovulated in the…

That would make the abortion self-defense, which should be acceptable to them.

The Medal of Be Freest.

shouldn’t that be presidential medal of Be Best freedom?

Gotta Melania this: “The Presidential Medal of the Most Freedom.”

My cousin (the one who sexually abused me) was a big Rush fan. He died of a heart attack a while back.. In his sleep. Fuck.

Trump’s done far worse things in his presidency, but this hit me hard. I let my brain be poisoned by Limbaugh and his ilk back in my late teens before coming to my senses. It’s sickening that he got the Medal of Freedom. 

This was a cynical play on our hero worship of people with cancer as saints. Cancer does not redeem anyone. Cancer is the second leading cause of death, with lung cancer being top amongst the cancers. Cancer is a fact of life, not a saving grace.