They’ll never get me! Never! *puts on polka dot pants and a plaid shirt*

Small town America LOOOOVES American flags, they will put that shit on everything, year round, lest you forget which country you’re in (fact: I have never once forgotten what country I’m in. Except that time I was in Lichtenstein, and I wasn’t sure if it was Luxembourg...or vice-versa).

I’m a lizard, but I agree that raw onions are gross.

There is a reason for the recipe preamble: you can’t copyright or trademark a recipe, which is why Coke and KFC go through such lengths to hide their recipes. However, you CAN claim ownership over the preamble. This is why every C-list celebrity and their mother has their own cookbook, because you can copy-paste a…

My first thought was that it would be nice to have a space where you know everyone is single. But then I realized that exists already (single’s bars, single’s events, single’s meet-ups).

In my case, it was just one really notable example from only a month ago. I had a friend visiting from out of town, we had just seen Us, and we wanted to eat ice-cream and talk about the movie before she headed back to her hotel, so we were on a little bit of a time crunch. And we actually got stuck behind this one…

Yaaaaay! Just the kind of research I want to hear. I’m 29, I’ve been single since leaving college. I like being alone, I really do. I am not opposed to getting married and having kids, but not enough to, like, try. Y’know?

Oh, but I’m a woman saying women be crazy. It’s not cool when a dude does it.

“But what about the chocolate with brownies?”

I do hang out with Asian men and women (because my friends and I form a rainbow coalition), but they straight up tell me they are being cheap when they are being cheap, which I have to respect.

How to tell if a black person is a child:

My response to the trailer was more like, #WomenCanBeSadisticMurderersToo, because I want to see more ladies playing the villain, and not in a “femme fatale” way and not in an “evil queen tells other people to murder” way and definitely not in a “this lady is a real bitch but is otherwise not physically threatening…

In my experience its the white women* asking for all the samples, at least at ice cream shops. They take a spoonful of everything, then order a small because “I’m on a diet, but this is my cheat day, teehee, I’m so baaaaad”.

“if they stopped being such angry sexist jerks”

Hah, I’m a girl gamer, and I’d like to meet a guy gamer who 1) has basic social skills (since I spent a lot of time and energy working on mine. Socialization isn’t easy for me) and 2) hasn’t already been taken BECAUSE ALL THE GAMER GUYS WITH BASIC SOCIAL SKILLS BE TAKEN.

Imagine a Sam’s Club Josh Brolin, but a jerky-fied version of him.

I’m no gud at spelling aither, but I’m not the Prezadent.

This is why I identify as an Agnostic Anti-theist. I don’t know if there is a god or gods, but if they do exist, then I actively reject them and I refuse to acknowledge their supremacy.

Not lecturey at all. I appreciate your contributions to the conversation.

This whole thing was Moose and Squirrel levels of stupid.