monogamy took the bone, and matrimony took the balls.

So this is the scariest possible future right? Just think about it.

He deserved all the awards. Every one of them. Even the technical ones that no one cares about.

Ladyheatherlee, I love you. You know that I love you, yes?

There are only a few radio stations in the Bay Area that I find somewhat bearable. Two of them play only Christmas music from before Thanksgiving (one) and from Thanksgiving (the second) until Christmas. Annoying, provincial, and retrograde is how it seems to me.... They leave my dashboard for that month.

I think they should consider me for Secretary of State. I haven’t actually been out of the country, but I did have a passport (it expired, sad!). I have also watched a number of TV shows and movies set in other countries. I also learned German in high school (I’ve forgotten most of it).

He has no expertise in housing policy, but he did spend part of his childhood in public housing...”

I use money to buy things. Can I run a bank do you think?

Although I don’t have a medical degree and am a man, I’ve decided to pursue a head OB/GYN role since I spent the most formative parts of my life in utero. You’re an inspiration to us all, Dr. Carson.

If you do not love marijuana, you are not doing it right.

Yeah, I’m going to be THAT guy. Why the fuck is this on Gizmodo?

Thank god for this! I’ve been having nights sweats wondering

“Hello, 911? I believe I’ve experienced an Irony Overdose.”

This was already decided in a previous thread by someone else: Bud Light Lime-a-rita

I’m trying to think who Gronk would’ve voted for.

Is anyone really surprised here? Seriously?

The most awesome thing about this is how much damage it will do to the people who actually voted for this person.

I can’t believe this is happening. I can’t believe this is happening. I can’t believe this is happening. That loop has been playing in my head all day.

I am a cisgendered heterosexual white male. I have nothing to lose in a Trump America.