Yes, my holidays will be fucked (and I’m going solo so I won’t even have my husband to suffer with me) BUT! Today is my birthday, so even though I know he’ll survive the senate I’m going to take his impeachment as the best birthday gift I could ever receive! 

Starting this convo with a fuck Tulsi Gabbard.

You’re not an intelligent person and nobody values anything you have to say.

I pity the man who has never had an immaculate donut. lol

Word. It always rings as the Capitalist dream dressed up in a different way. They have to make empowerment look good, monied, and successful, like it’s the only way to survive being a woman with a job.

Just check out the #29rooms on instagram you can see all the corporate feminism you want there.  And while I love the *aesthetic* of #girlboss feminism it’s just super shallow and ultimately meaningless.  All they are empowering us to do is buy their product, and that’s all they ever wanted to empower us to do. 

The fact that it’s 2019 and we have a 77 year old quiet racist dude who failed three times over the past 30 years, running on a campaign nicknamed “NO MALARKEY” should be reason enough to cancel him from everything except a private life. But never underestimate America’s unconditional love for white men no matter how…

His past mistakes are not why he needs to be cancelled. He needs to be cancelled because to give him the Democratic nomination or any role in governance is to hamstring ourselves with outdated desire for and attempts to reach bipartisanship.

Yeah, potato wedges/jojos/[insert your regionalism here] are one of the best reasons to eat at KFC in the first place. This feels about as exciting about a Ghirardelli store announcing that it’s started stocking Hershey’s. I can get that shit anywhere, and it’s lower quality than what you had in the first place.

Cowards. If the Colonel had a brass pair, he’d sweep the table and change the game and bring on the secret recipe tots.

I don’t know if these are nation wide but around here there are ice cream snowmen and Xmas trees that my Grandfather would always have in the freezer this time of year.

I was in Publix yesterday with my bride of 10,733 days, all excited about making Christmas cookies. I was super-psyched because I’m lazy and I enjoy dragging all kinds of things through melted chocolate bark, especially Ritz crackers. So buttery and salty and sweet and irresistible. Then I see this on the shelf:

And one of those boys grew up to become John Popper.

I would also love it if whoever is responsible for these things now would permanently block this troll that keeps changing its username from following me around from vertical to vertical and continuing to harass me

Ok, boomer.

I have to say I lurve Billie’s music. I feel like she is kind of the Fiona Apple we need right now (vocally). It’s not a comparison that really makes sense, but it’s always where my mind goes. But as an interviewee, award recipient, etc., she is annoying as fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

“That one’s Doris, and the other is Greg. No shit, those are their actual names. They’re really into Cool Whip and tic tac toe, and...yeah, let’s move on.”

Stephens quit Twitter in a huff, saying the insult was the “worst of humanity,” comparing Karpf to a Nazi, and even going on TV to bemoan his victimization. All this from a man who makes a living railing against “PC culture” and the silencing of controversial voices.

It’s like that drawing. Is it a beautiful young woman, or an old crone?

If you really want to up your game throw them in a smoker instead of cooking in the oven.