This actually was a good review. It had a little Ebert energy to it

Those are so goddamned stupid

Where the fuck is Alice from Nightmare 4 and 5?

Yeah, or literally any 4th grader who’s passing English class. The writers could even take two and a half extra minutes to proofread it themselves. I mean, I assume they all had to write loads of papers in school, and they at least know that there do indeed exist rules for things like hyphens, em dashes, colons,…

You suppose this movie’s a ways off?

Cavill Superman is fine, they just put him in shit movies

They do the damned hand thing in Men and Halloween Ends also

Quit stealing my moves

I miss Tom Breihan

Cops love shooting dogs. It’s like a sport for them

How is it obnoxious? What’s obnoxious is that there are such blatant errors at all

Now that’s not a good mantra at all

whacky worlds —> wacky worlds

Teletubbies was at least wholesome, or something. Barney was a charisma black hole, his songs were garbage, and his style was off the rack

“That’s interesting. See where it takes you” sounds like a nice way of saying “That’s also terrible, but I’m tired and I want to go play video games”

a R-rated —> an R-rated

The only good prequel is Temple of Doom

In the opening, maybe. But when we see that character again he totally regrets it, and wants to renounce his “wish”. Bleechh

It’s astonishing how little this guy gives a fuck. I cared more about the quality of my work when I stocked shelves at Dollar Tree

Who the hell cares if actors have seen all the canon material? They’re reading from a script and being told how to say the stuff by a director