See, Duff knows that splitting your outflow to no more than three pipes is just enough to maintain that flavor you know and love. 25 branches is simply asking for trouble.

I, too, have a car made out of 1990s era baseball cards!

Yeah, if you can’t afford a $500 emergency...you’re not going to afford having $500 cash on hand in case of, you know, an emergency

If your candy corn is ‘hardened’...it’s dried out.  Dunk it in some hot water.  It should be pleasantly chewy, not a rock...

I had some birthday cake flavored candy corn last year. It was amazing. Brach’s ‘harvest corn’ (white/yellow/brown) has a hit of chocolate which is just blech.  Avoid the Nerds candy corn too.

I’ve sometimes gone dirty, or used lemon juice, but vermouth taste just squicks me out. And I can spot minuscule amounts too (I’ve tested! And despite the sheer number of test drinks I made, that was not as fun as you’d think, considering I wasn’t going to let it go to waste...); I just nope right on out.

A Hawkeye (M*A*S*H) martini has too much vermouth for me...

Kangaroo Jack 2: Project Man-hop-ten

Joke’s on the capsule, it’s probably the -least- deadliest thing in Western Australia!

Yep. Last year was the Bruce Willis reversal.

For what it’s worth, that happened in 1973.  When the Tonight Show was still hosted by Carson.

“After that you’re Harrison Ford, crashing planes. You just want to keep your head down.”

when was the last time you saw cops being proactive and already charging their own?

Regarding collective nouns...the singular / plural usage is also one of the larger differences between British and American English.

If you’re using a word or phrase incorrectly, keep doing it because the longer it’s misused, the more justifiable it becomes.

The system doesn’t care; it has Black people to harass.

Please don’t disrupt capitalism with your pleas to be treated like people.

Bryan Leiker, executive director of the Metal Finishing Assn. of California...

Announce that Rooty The Great Root Bear’s design is going to change once again so that he not only no longer wears jeans, but also hangs cartoon dong in all official depictions going forward.

You can have my DVD of it after you pry it from my cold dead hands