"300k on a birthday party?"

The lesson here is to just stick to the bestiality stuff. It saves lives.

If I've just missed a free throw I don't a tap from my guys.

[Assumes that Victor Oladipo is compliant and not very buoyant]

I hated him at the time but respect the hell out of him now-Keena Turner.

I dare you to say that to the national champ, Bill "Wet Willy" Anderson. He'll towel-snap your arse in a heartbeat.

Raw Deal Duan-

Nice hustle, fella.

I figure this is your last year, so, thank you so much Daniel Alfredsson. At various points in your career you were the best 2 way player, a sniper, a great set-up guy, a great defensive forward and a guy that never, ever quit.

Go see the final sequence of Ind/Ill. Facking insane!

The deflowering of my ex-girlfriend. I couldn't afford the $15 even though it was up in the cheap seats.

That's a good read. I wonder if they did the Gervin "Ice Man" poster that I blew my allowance on way back when.

Listen, there's tons of women that hide their orgasms so that you don't get the satisfaction of knowing you've given them pleasure. I know that for a FACT!

I'm Special in One Way Duan-

"That motorized Jeep in the driveway? His uncle bought that for him. The fact that he got it the day after he signed with us is just coincidental."

So great. If I started from the first year I think I'd lose my job eventually.

"The Prisoner" is fantabulous.

Lewis covering Davis is a lovely mismatch.

Ray-Ray a little too slow-slow to handle Crabtree.

Hopefully they'll show a few ads so that I can grab some snacks.