Yeah we definitely need more details on this story like others said.

Wait, what? I feel like there's a lot to that story that you need to elaborate on. Who choked you out? And why?

Forget the money. The money is always going to be there.

Well you can’t vote for cartoon characters, thank god.

Speak English? Why would I want him speaking like a British twat? Dude better learn to speak American or get out.

Korea’s Kim Woojin scored a world record 700 out of a possible 720 points today at 70 meters.

It looks good on them, tho.

You’d think Green would wait to get to Rio to go viral.

You suck

Now, THIS is a type of message you save the comic sans font for!

Lawyer: We’re going to get to the bottom of this.

Fantastic, now I need to go dig up all of my victims and put them somewhere else. Thanks, Nintendo!

Always masturbation truthers

I’m 38 and I give myself hand jobs nearly every day.

Nothing compared to Mike Huckabee teaching his sons to continue eating while shitting.

They’re still better than the Niners. You know, because of math.

The Tenors’ statement: “3 of us matter”

For all the people who need an explanation on why “All lives matter” is racist: It is a direct refutation of the Black Lives Matter protest movement, which is not claiming black supremacy, but instead an implicit acknowledgment that black lives (also) matter.

Could you imagine if someone altered the national anthem in support of Black Lives Matter?

I tried watching the HR Derby. I really did. But I couldn’t get past Chris Berman ruining everything with his shtick. I had to turn it off. Can he please be put out to pasture already?