Patrick has been fired for not referencing the extensive real-world history of ballistas being used to kill flame-breathing magical lizards the size of 747s.

a girl who I wasn’t interested in asked for my number

That’s a tomato

It’s probably LaVar Ball you idiot

This image is anachronistic.

You’re right, it’s crazy how opinons work!

And with this new rule, his career will be taking a step back.

I say let him eat

Super Mario World or Unreal Tournament.

Link to the Past

Ones from AOL just say j;li3489a;sdc;

No way, Todd gets hella chicks.

Aaron Gordon was robbed.

There absolutely is not a single proper way to eat eggs. So, counterpoint: you suck

The worst is when you’re in bed falling asleep and you get that sensation.

Imagine knowing that there were children being enslaved out there and being like, “You know what, I shouldn’t talk about this to all these reporters, it might distract them from their rightful focus on Matt Hasselbeck.”

Guys, child slavery is really bad and I could’ve done more to fight against it, but I decided to focus on staying quiet because football.

Kaepernick should have performed an armed takeover of a bird sanctuary. The only acceptable form of protest.