I will never tire of David Caruso memes. NEVER.

I guess someone needs to break this down for poor Norman Pardo, manager-to-the-incarcerated-celebrities extraordinaire, so here goes.

Would a "dick sucking pants" joke be too obvious?

"My overly sensitive introvert nature just can't handle it."

I totally agree with you except...Jennifer Lawrence made transphobic comments? This is news to me.

Yeah, I don't think she seems bitter at all. I think people just think she's bitter because she has Resting Bitch Face. Just like me!

Yeah, if I'm not having Pinot Noir, I'm generally into Beaujolais or Malbec.

I have a tendency to collect other INFJs. Two of my closest friends are, but I don't know any others. INFJs of Kinja unite!

See, that's how you do it. Undersell your prowess.

Hell, we'll magick up our own special INFJ wine out of thin air! I've just decided that INFJs are badass witches, BTW.

If you're an INFJ, you can have whatever wine you want at our INFJ wine party. We need to stick together.

Right? A dude would be all, "I have a large penis, and here is a funny joke about how huge it is," and I'd be all, "GET IT IN MY MOUTH RIGHT NOW."

Right? We're like 1-2 percent of the population or something. I am a textbook case, apparently.

Boo. I'm an INFJ who would choose Pinot Noir over Cabernet any day.

"Basically, I don't think it's a Steubenville problem; it's a small-towns-all-over-the-country problem"

I see what you're saying, but I just can't get behind it. She stepped over the line of being an apologist, in my opinion. "It felt wrong to shrug when I'm told [insert a woe-is-me story that hasn't been verified]." The tone was more than a little condescending toward people who aren't moved by the Townspeople of…

Despite my exaggerated paraphrase, I have no doubt that things were almost that weird in the Murphy/Monjack/Mom household.

Really? I found that article a pretty offensive example of ball-dropping, myself. I thought it was a huge embarrassment. Transcribing the obtuse whining of the "townsfolk" without any of the pointed follow-up questions and raising of potentially uncomfortable contradictions that characterizes good investigative…

Really? I found that article a pretty offensive example of ball-dropping, myself. I thought it was a huge embarrassment. Transcribing the obtuse whining of the "townsfolk" without any of the pointed follow-up questions and raising of potentially uncomfortable contradictions that characterizes good investigative…

Really? I found that article a pretty offensive example of ball-dropping, myself. I thought it was a huge embarrassment. Transcribing the obtuse whining of the "townsfolk" without any of the pointed follow-up questions and raising of potentially uncomfortable contradictions that characterizes good investigative…