Who finished in sixth place? A squirrel.

... immediately puts one of those insufferable fucking “13.1" stickers on dog house.

That’s fine and all.

The Fissure King

It could be a different story in two weeks, when Denver faces a much more creative offense led by a quarterback who thrives when running away from pressure. I can’t wait to see it shake out.

Phantom pressure is pretty tough to deal with. Just ask any ghost that didn’t stay true to itself and got wrapped up in ghost crime.

The whole game I kept shouting, “Get that fancy dog!” at the TV. At one point my wife walks into the room and says, “What the fuck does that even mean?” I suppose without context, it would seem strange.

The last time a Brady took shots that bad it was 1981.

I was just watching this game, saw the goal and then the many subsequent replays of the goal, so I already knew the goal was amazing without playing the video, and yet, at the same time, I had to watch the clip here, for to do otherwise would have been depraved and immoral.

The best part about this particular golazo is that once Eriksen heads the ball back, you know exactly what is coming, but it’s still breathtaking, incredible, and not at all what you expected.

Being a diehard Spurs fan, this match felt like a lost opportunity and a blow to the stomach. It only took a flick and smash to send my beer flying and running out into the 2 feet of snow in my yard!

COYS

He wouldn’t know what the word “fripperies” means. He’s a Florida state grad.

When reached for comment, Dan Gilbert issued the attached response.

Reached for comment, Kevin Love said, “I can’t really defend his firing. Or the job he did as coach. ...Actually, I can’t defend anything. Please don’t ask me to.”

This is a misguided comment. Here’s why:

Dale will be Misirlou all day but at least can work on his heavy metal.

Dale just got the news...

No one has noticed that the weather lady is totally throwing up gang symbols. #WestSideLowFronts