Next question.

Harris is just trying to get the kids to stop playing soccer. You know where helicopters don’t land? Hockey arenas. Play hockey, kids, not soccer.

Oh nice, you read the article, too? That’s great

That is a great soccer parent email.

Did the makeup artist flat-out reject his advances or did she give him a sign that he could go all the way?

Hot take. Laws against gambling are dumb. But he’s the attorney general of New York. State-sponsored lotteries are legal. Gambling is otherwise illegal in his state. He’s doing his job.

This will be overruled. The United States Constitution states that I can own as many Colts as I want.

Because people can only focus on one thing at a time. I get it.

Ok, that is a great quote. Next question.

You mean MORE proof. Having “Merry Christmas” taken off my Starbucks cup was all I needed to know a loving god was a myth.

Also, while they’re a young team, they’re clearly not in his age range.

The Kings really are fucked, but they’ve been in town for 30 years so at least we know it wasn’t by the mayor.

The Kings are looking to bring in Mike D’Antoni, because seven seconds is the average length of time between coach firings in Sacramento.

That's not the only mistake. The calendar also has a picture of the Nationals playing baseball in October.

That’s a clown calendar, bro.

Welker can do what he wants, he’s a grown man, but my heart sank a little when I saw that he was signed. I really don’t anticipate a happy ending for him.

Nilsen: “I can’t live, if livin’ is without you, coach.”

Your team lost 2 games in a row, resulting in a total of 2 losses? Incidentally to some of the best teams in the league? And you have completely lost your cool?

Hunger Games is original, the similarities to Battle Royale are purely superficial. Not to mention if you want to look at skin-deep similarities than Battle Royale is a ripoff of Lord of the Flies.