Too Sooner.

Police say there is no clear motive for the attack.

He didn’t lose them, his dog ate them.

It’s been illegal in New York since 2007 and illegal in California since 2006. I’m not talking about Utley’s slide. I’m talking about the death penalty.

I believe Utley deserves an even harsher punishment: send him back to the Phillies.

Bartolo Colon is gonna fry! No seriously, he brought in a deep fryer from home. He makes hush puppies in the dugout.

Cespedes For The Rest of us!

/CespedesForTheRestOfUs

It’s all part of the 12-step program. Just as soon as you’re 12 steps out of the building, they fire your ass.

The whole season for PEDs? Jesus, you’d think the guy was caught trying to sneak a free meal at the dinning commons or something.

Rest of the season? Isn’t that a little harsh? I mean...it’s not like he charged for his autograph or something serious like that.

Go cure cancer.
Go write the great American novel.
Go to Mars.
Go get yourself suspended for the rest of the season because you were dumb enough to believe that you could get away with using PEDs in 2015.

Go Gators.

Is it with or without pay?

Big deal, I’ve seen him do the same celebration at the Golden Corral.

It really gives you hope for the world, you know?

Pretty strong words from a guy who regularly has to have someone else come and finish the job for him.

I feel the same way about the “Big Bang Theory” ads running every commercial break.

So much for that “they’re getting an education” argument.

He’s being criticized for being a fucking cunt, you fucking cunt.