The first pack of basketball cards I ever opened had Moses Malone in it. I’m ashamed to say I was hoping for Shawn Kemp instead.

I will never ever think of Division III football the same way after this scene from Whiplash, nor will I ever think of it without thinking of this scene.

Damn, that’s a good catch.

It seems we are doomed this year to consider many things filled only with air. The list grows ever longer.

This is the best I could come up with for a “statue” of limitations.

Is it an accident? Probably. Maybe. Who knows. But I hope hilariously shady stuff like this happens all season. I don’t doubt that unabashedly nefarious bad-guy Pats are bad for the NFL...but whether they’re bad for football as entertainment is a different question entirely.

...is that “hat” a pair of boxers or what? And if it’s NOT...what the hell is it?

I reich your style.

What a shame he doesn’t cover the San Francisco beat...

Purdue : Derp U.

Supreme hustle, kid

There. You made me do it.

I had to listen just to be sure this wasn’t so. (It isn’t. God help me, I know this means I recognize the sound of Bill Simmons’s dad’s voice. Hey, he’s actually a thoughtful guy and I miss Simmons’s podcasts. Sue me.)

Dadspin

Packers fans also refuse to admit that nationwide their team is every bit as much a favorite of front-running bandwagoneers as the Steelers (their clear AFC analogue, and you know it’s true.) In winning years, Packers fans just kind of materialize all over, like one isotope decaying into another. It’s as if someone’s…

*throws in the towel*

Believe me, I’m not proud.

...pretty sure he belongs on the White Sox...

If you don’t believe Drew about southern Indiana being even more Kentucky than actual Kentucky, read this book. I never want to be unarmed in southern Indiana again.