No, I win. Nope. Nope nope. I win. Okay. Here goes. It's long but (I think) it's worth it.

The only acceptable response other than getting his ass fired would be for one of the employees (ideally male for comedic value) to walk gingerly up to him, tap his belt buckle a few times, then stand there expectantly.

On a late summer/early fall evening, I was getting ready for bed in my dorm room in Australia, where I was studying abroad.

>Doctors sign away their 20's to develop the skills to save others' lives.

"Ultimately, Stewart can be upset, but the truth is she was caught nuzzling her then-marriedSnow White and the Huntsman director."

This article really contradicts the one from earlier about how female celebrities aren't allowed to ever live shit down. WTF?

I worked for a short while in customer service for an ISP and one day this guy calls (not a customer) and demands that we call his neighbour (a customer) and ask that they disable the password for their w-fi because he could no longer access the Internet since his neighbour enabled password protection. He even…

I'd like to submit the entire Iranian team for consideration.

Yo, I mean, I'm not judging and you gotta go for whatever makes you happy, but this man right there.. He is a fish. Just saying.

Bring a whole new meaning to "Cabbage Patch Kids"

Ladies. Lllllllladies. I know this is gonna sound creepy at first, but you'll change your mind once you've seen my very special dick. Wait til you see my dick. Wait til you see my dick. Wait til you see my dick. I'm gonna beat that pussy up.

The dark is scary because the Nightman Cometh....

What a dumbass idea. You have no kids, and obviously forgot what its like to be one. Of course this is an extreme case, but what you're basically saying is that a teen deserves no kind of privacy whatsoever.

Agreed, that's a dick move. I'm a regular solo traveler and I switch seats all the time. The only time I won't is if I'm trading an aisle for a middle seat or something, but I think most folks understand that.

How is that not a valid reason? That was a jerky thing to do. I'd hate to sit alone on a 2 hour flight if my husband was just seats away.

Lets hear it for the ladies who can't buy button up shirts!

She actually lives in a light-less cave in the basement of Kleinfelds. She makes each gown lovingly, but completely in the dark, so she has no idea how hideous they are. When Randy summons her from the cave (this is how she is always available), she is actually seeing the gown for the first time. But she doesn't see…

So I guess I should discontinue my "Shave the Children" charity, then...

I had a full anchor lift and breast implants. For a long time I felt the need to tell people that I did it because I lost a bunch of weight and my boobs totally deflated and I looked funny even in bras. I don't tell that part as much anymore because it does not matter. That implies I was just fixing my body so that's…