Like I always say, a better life for you chicks is just a massive head wound away.

That’s all well and good for you, but I used to rock and roll all night and party every day. Then it was every other day… now I’m lucky to find half an hour a week in which to get funky. I’ve got to get out of this rut and back into the groove.

"beat"…

This post is sponsored by Russia {TM}

"No, back to the Focker mines with you!"
-Satan

Some of us did it twice. It's called commitment to the craft!

I'm sure this is method research Daniel is doing for a role about some actor guy named Daniel who is done with acting.

I don't believe there is any evidence that her blog actually exists.

You, sir, have the boorish manners of a Yalie.

LISSEN UP, CHAHLIE! I GOT 7 GAHNSETTS AND 4 SAMMIES IN ME AND SULLY AND SEAN AND SULLY AND SULLY AND SHAWN AND FITZIE AND SULLY AND KEVIN AND SULLY AND PATTY AND PADDY AND PAT AND SULLY AND WILLIE AND JIMMY…THAT'S SULLY'S LITTLE BROTHAH…AND FITZ AND BILLY AND LITTLE ROB AND SULLY AND PETE AND PETEY AND PAULIE AND…

Yet Atheistzilla's story remains ignored by Hollywood…

To do the chores for the Donald doll?

I went to the Doucheversity of Massachusetts!

Which one has the actual penis?

I can name 5 Guys who disagree.

I thought they were uncontrollably tempted by the cheezburgers and needed to haz them.

But, you know, with the yowling and the retching and the weird hours and the emotional instability and having to have a smelly place to put its shit…the cats reconsidered.

{Cosby joke}

They seem to be pretty consistent in stating their client is innocent. Trump's team has a different tactic…admit, deny the the statement, restate, accuse the media of not reporting their denials and thus bias, repeat.

For 2 options? I like my odds!