And if this doesn't work, ding dong ditch at the White House!

Dad?

Thanks Obamacare!

Final score - Planet Earth II: Humanity 0

Meh, I hate sequels.

You don't know what I'm up against. Because it's full of, of, of things that are only correct because they're grammatical, but they're tough on the ear, you see. This is a very wearying one. It's unpleasant to read. Unrewarding.

But my dealer has asked me to stop calling so often…!

Guards!

It was the early 80's. Feminism in music lyrics and video had not yet undergone the revolution that "Cherry Pie" would foment.

Quit trying to sell your fanfiction in the comments section, Monkeylint!

I was trying to remember the awful video he was in with McCartney where they actually did a minstrel show. I originally thought it was "The Girl is Mine", but it was "Say Say Say".

Yes. He was a chameleon.

Oh, the humanity.

Will this movie address the…uncomfortable and damaging events…in Jackson's life?

Captain Kangaroused?

It's the part I was born to play, baby!

"Failing kids in the Valley hungry because they are losers!"

And thus an AV Club screen name was born!

I was not aware of that.

I'm sure that President Trump would have handled that with the same grace and decorum.