As long as it doesn't reignite the "tastes great/less filling" debate, humanity still has a chance.

Hey, if you want someone not just to act - but to INHABIT - the role of Mortdecai, you have to pay the price.

'Nuff said!

Hulk smash! forms the perfect counterargument.

That fight will be in the form of a moderated debate over the topic of ontological empiricism. Over a four hour period, rigorously timed with no breaks.

Rainbart!

I was hoping for some sort of hot climate change induced mud wrestling. Once again, the Weather Channel has let me down.

"Triumph of the Will" didn't have lightsabers.

They're a bunch of stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf-herders!

If there's a bright centre to the universe, you're on the planet that it's farthest from.

Replace "tonsils" with "fetus" and make it happen!

I really thought "Buried in the can" was going to go in a very different direction…

I think "Bastards of Young" would have been a bit more on the nose.

It lacks the class and grace that only a target like John Mayer can bring to the game.

Is that the one where he's king of the hill, top of the heap?

Mandy Moore's new single, "Screw You, Micropenis!" drops tomorrow.

Whichever raises the hand.

Calamari?

Applebee's? Where the food IS the atrocity.

Cthulhu fhtagn, baby.