(yes, he spit into his hand then threw it at another human being)

Our bodies are not built to fight large cats. We have thin skin that doesn’t do a good job protecting our vitals from large claws and huge teeth. We’re good at problem solving and throwing things, and we’re built to do some physical things quite well, but fighting large cats and bears is not what we excel at.

In a non-surprising twist, the vast majority of commenters on this article will share your level of competence but not your level of self-awareness. Cheers.

I recognize that I am not qualified to speak on this case or the larger issue of domestic violence. So I won’t. Hope everyone has a great Friday.

“Itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face” (Baby, Oakland)

I *hate* admitting that “heaux” is kinda clever, though I have no idea if the song is good. I also hate admitting I am reluctantly Team Cash Me Girl.

Who are those grown-ass men just standing around while the children bicker? Why are they there? I don’t understand.

I’m almost Team Barbie, except, These Heaux? Everyone knows it should be Theze Heaux. She’s dead to me now.

Okay but actually where are her parents? I might just be old and out of it (I mean, I definitely am), but this seems like in the realm of justifying involving CPS. It’s probably too late for the teenagers but can we send Lil Tay to live on a farm in Vermont with stern parental figures and no internet for a few years?

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Some quality #viral #content from @adampally, there, ensuring a wider media footprint for the @shortyawards with his zany #existentialregret. Like and subscribe for more.

No, fuck that. Little truth time. I was savagely bullied from about 1st grade through Highschool. Small school, and it was one kid for 8 years that made every day of my life hell, but nothing ever happened to him because his daddy donated an entire fucking wing to the elementary school. I was undersized and had/have…

Man that is messed up, and right after he shoots Richie Incognito, I really think we need to take his guns away from him.

Tebow looks like he’s worried the pitcher is going to throw him a curveball. And we know Jesus Christ no help with curveball.

Rondo makes a solid point, what’s the point of playing a video for every star that leaves town?

I guess it’s the unpopular take, judging by other comments, but Pierce is 100% right on this one.

At one time the Celtics locker room had to contain the egos of Pierce, Rondo, Garnett, Allen and Doc Rivers. How is that even possible?

The SWAT officer who pulled the trigger is to blame. The person who called the fake incident into the police is to blame. The person who passed along the victim’s address is to blame.

Wes is a treasure. It’s as if Ed Hoculi officiated hockey and was not a huge preening jackass.