Uhhhhh

The cops wouldn't be beating them. The cops would be shooting them.

You think it would have just been beatings?

Her tears are delicious. But who could have that face with Sen(!) Warnock??? Lookit that smile! Makes you feel like the world isn’t a shit-heap.

You will when the lyrics are “Here’s a message for the crooks in the treasury—read the message on the flag it says ‘Don’t tread on me’” *

YOU TAKE BACK WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT RUTABAGAS

And Iran? It’s hard to find two ideologies more OPPOSED to socialism and Marxism than their current theocracy or the monarchy that preceded it.

Very on brand for conservatives to take a cultural construct that emerged organically and make it as calculated and lame as fucking possible. I fully expect Freedom Force to start releasing “rapping videos” consisting of baggy pants, backwards baseball caps, and painfully awkward lyrics comparing paying taxes to being…

You forgot Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast, for that brief period around 2002-2003 when the French went “You know, the Afghanistan thing makes sense, but we’re not quite sold on Iraq.” and the whole country decided that anything “French” - fries, toast, cheese, wine, baguettes, omelets du fromage, the Dixie Chicks, etc…

“If a Karen won’t listen to me, I’ll send her ass to the penitentiary.”

Seriously. The name itself should merit a costodial sentence.

The official major is “Pre-med Until I Fail Organic Chemistry Then Maybe Media Studies.”

Personally, I blame the parents (‘Skylar’ for fuck’s sake. What did you expect?)

“Kaleigh / Kayleigh / Keighlihhhy" is making a strong showing as well 

This is the standard line for the maligned white woman. Let me tell you my family’s story. It is the tale of Britney (yes, her actual name).

In her defense, if she hadn’t gone to that race, any one of her boyfriend’s six other girlfriends would have gone

Oh, huh. Being locked up in the Caymans means she won’t be able to vote in the upcoming Georgia runoffs. Rigged election!

So much to unpack. Partially have to blame the parents for naming her Skylar which sounds like a space-age fabric they make kites and wingsuits out of. She should be real happy that she didn’t spit on the ground in Singapore instead, that woulda been a caning. (‘member that car smashing choad who found that out?) She…

I’m sure politely asking a corrupt billionaire to voluntarily piss off the government of a notorious tax haven is a strong play.  

I have seldom left my home since March, turned retirement savings into groceries and watched my remaining marbles roll out of my skull in continuing isolation.