Let Swiper be free! Swipe, Swiper! Swipe to your black little hearts content!

It’s called “Paris thin.”

Nearly twice your age, lived through the hippie and punk days, and never, ever needed a pair of leather trousers.

It is a zillion degrees with humidity levels sitting right at “swamp” so just reading the words “leather trouser” makes me clenchy and mean.

There has been not a single occasion in my 29 years on this planet that I have thought, “I really wish I had a leather trouser right now.”

That is really sweet. I love that she fangirls a little over Cate Blanchett and knows that prospective buyers will too!

COOL TEENZ (or parents of youngsters who you suspect may be COOL TEENZ) is vaping really what’s hot? Like, are teenz sneaking off to vape when their parents around, or giving older siblings/randos money to go buy them vape juice? Does nobody smoke cigarettes anymore?

She’s just being the Grumpy Old Troll under the bridge.

Two students were punished for “vaping” at school. One student was expelled while the other was suspended for three days. The expelled student and/or their parents sued the school claiming that the expelled student received unfair treatment due to favoritism. The expelled student and/or their parents are now also…

You have to figure that the shoes in particular will draw a certain type of crowd.

I love the dig Gwyneth gets in there about the Prada dress - it was right after she gave birth and it’s 2-3 times bigger than she would normally wear. So you know it’s like a 6 and she’s secretly calling us all fat.

“Why would I want to be a bull fighter?”

There are so many layers in this story but what I love the most is the Peter Hatcher reference. +10 Judy Blume Points.

I always wonder how many of these items are purchased by men from their mothers’ basements.

VAPER, NO VAPING

How old is tenth grade again? *counts forward from Peter Hatcher’s age in 4th Grade Nothing*

I think that we all knew Dora was a monster. Stop shouting at me! No, I won't tell Swiper to stop swiping! It's what he does. It's his goddamn name!

For me, the most compelling part of this story is that my former high school principal is now the Upper School Division Head at Avenues.

do you thinks she made the other teen girls chant “backpack, backpack, backpack” before pulling out the vape pen?

just a PSA that i will never not laugh at ‘vaper, no vaping’