What would be the running time of a comprehensive video of every Browns screwup?

THAT HAIL MARY PLAY I CALL IT THE DENTIST BECAUSE IT KILLED SOME LIONS FROM EXTREME LONG RANGE.

Browns fans wake up from three days of football-induced depression and think:

When I had my abortion (in NC), I had to sit in a group “therapy” circle and discuss the process and what forms of birth control I planned on using post-abortion.

Here’s some numbers.

I would like to know more.

There has to be someone affiliated with Deadspin that can pull off the mannerisms and affectations of an adolescent attendee.

That’s ridiculous, but why would you want to go listen to Greg Hardy speak anyway?

Just lying there in the middle of the street? Like they were Denorphaned...

Andy Dwyer is the world’s number 1 Colts fan and everyone knows that. He also makes the best mac and cheese.

Not to disagree with that picture, but this might negate it:

Next question.

I would have thought Colonel Sanders would be a breast man.

There’s a car chase where a van full of priests goes off a bridge and blows up. So something for everyone...

They’re arguing that the TTAB’s decision was arbitrary and capricious and thus not an appropriate exercise of government power. It’s an excellent example of why the government shouldn’t be tasked with determining what is “offensive.” Besides the obvious first amendment issues the government has a poor track record of…

For all their fuckery, and I’m probably in the minority here, I think the Nationals will end up better off with Baker. Maybe it’s because I saw him managing my favorite team up close for a decade, but I think Dusty’s flaws are vastly overstated. Except for that goddamn Rally Monkey, he would’ve guided the Giants to…

I bet he has one of his kids read it out loud with a mouth full of bagel or something.

“GM Alex Anthopoulos, under whose six-year tenure the Blue Jays emerged as one of the best teams in the AL...”