This guy is right up there with this other guy:

Now if only I had a screaming baby. I never thought I’d say that, but I want to try this shit out.

I like his little “this is a good baby” ... ::smooch:: at the end. Like kissing the top of its little head was just an involuntary reaction to seeing a baby head. This guy really likes kids!

Yeah for sure. The best part is when he’s sort of reconsidering the $10 campaign contribution of spilled pennies “yeah you know what, I will take these”. And then they leave him to go get some Arby’s. These boys are big fans of Between Two Ferns obviously.

My co-worker adopted a three-year-old. Whenever anyone would tell her she was a “saint” for adopting an older kid, she would look them straight in the eye and say, “She came to me potty-trained.”

time for Marty to make a career shift so he can realize his true calling of playing a politician on Scandal

If I had as much money as Bey and Jay I would have TWO ROOM PER PERSON. TWO ROOMS AND AN EN SUITE EACH. Because why have that much money and still share a bed with someone when you can have a triple king size and your own clubhouse all to yourself?

I probably shouldn’t get married.

I’ve NEVER understood that. Listen, I have a kid...and she was absolutely inconsolable and WORTHLESS from birth until at least 5 or so. I would’ve gladly skipped those years in which I had to do every single little thing for her. WHY DON’T PEOPLE APPRECIATE OLDER KIDS MORE?!?!?!

Considering that kids past their first birthday are often considered unadoptable—much less black children—this is a pretty damn nice thing for Bullock to do. Good on her.

The commercial of my chilhooodddddd

When other actors were distancing themselves, Elizabeth was out in front of the AIDS epidemic. She stood up for the victims of AIDS and helped de-stigmatize them. She was the face of compassion for AIDS victims. I’m absolutely positive that without her many more AIDS victims would have died, many of them alone,…

Watch Burton and Taylor with Helena Bonham Carter and forget LiLo ever happened.

I will be honest, I never really had much of an opinion of Elizabeth Taylor one way or another. I don’t think she’s a great actress or anything. But damn, this just makes me love her.

I know we are all probably still traumatized by the Lindsey Lohan biopic, but I would watch the ever-loving hell out of Dallas Buyers Club 2: White Diamonds.

Omg that’s horrible. Fwiw, you’re still a good friend for keeping all that to yourself because JEBUS.

In high school my hair stylist was dating my friends dad. The daughter was also a client. I still need some brain bleach after being 17 and hearing about my best friend’s dad’s erection woes, coke habit, and the dirty details of his relationship with his ex wives. I never repeated any of it but I couldn’t spend time…

Yeah srsly, “mommies” blechhh. I am a mid-30s married woman without kids, and the thing that icks me out as much as the idea of being pregnant and giving birth and worrying about how my sweet egalitarian life with my spouse would change is the role they are supposed to take and the condescension people show to (almost…

I have stated this before, but I feel it bears repeating.

Glad you added that caveat to the headline. 97 percent of millennial trend pieces insufferable hacks write about largely applies only to white people. Most people in my generation are not actually what most people imagine us to be.

You clearly have no idea why this app is helpful. It’s not just about writing it down. Did you even read the article?