Counterpoint: fuck you, that’s my childhood.

CrossFit is what I like to call a “douche multiplier.”

And the photo doesn’t show anything that is ever aborted in ANY instances unless it is dead or not going to live and will kill its mother as well. Zygotes, embryos, and early-stage fetuses are completely different than the viable fetuses shown. Stop endangering the lives of women just because you don’t understand how…

Last week a showtime dancer kicked me in the shoulder, slipped off his pole and ate shit. Then he looked up at me like I was a bad person for laughing at his fall. 

Cool story, bro.

“You miss 100% of the questions you don’t answer, or answers you don’t question... You know what? Fuck this game.” - Wayne Gretzky

Damn. Yeah, nah. I’m not gonna do that shit.

Mom’s boyfriend Jeff thinks he is sooooo smart, beating me so bad at Trivial Pursuit last Christmas. Well, guess who has spent the better part of 2018 memorizing the cards while on the shitter? HO-HO-HO, Jeff, guess whose about to get the gift of getting their ASS SPANKED this year? Say word to everything you LOVE I…

Myers Birggs as astrology for Business Majors.

I’m in a real dark place right now. There is nothing more that I would like to do than grab Stan Bowman by his ears and scream into his face PANARIN, HJALMARSSON, LEDDY, DANAULT, TERAVAINEN, HARTMAN, HINISTROZA, JOHNS, DALEY FOR FUCKING ROB SCUDEIRI, A 2ND ROUND PICK FOR FUCKING DAVID RUNDLBAD?!!!!

Benching in the power rack is acceptable as far as I’m concerned, if you are doing heavy (1-3) reps to near failure. Now if you are doing curls in the rack, you can and should be stabbed and everything in the gym will look the other way.

Thank you. If I were a health inspector I would’ve given the restauranteur a heavy fine. Not shutting down the business (unless this has happened before) but enough to send a warning that this literal shit ain’t right. 

I felt compelled to write a little note to you just so I can get a different perspective on this nasty situation.

This is why I stopped going to the movie theaters (that and increasingly crap movies), because ignorant parents were changing their brats diapers right there in seats. Frankly, if a kid is not old enough to be toilet trained and able to sit still and be quiet for a couple of hours then parents have no business taking…

NO!

Here’s what you do: cheap plastic liner hangs inside the tub, and a decorative curtain hangs outside. Three’s plenty of room on the curtain hooks for both. Throw away and buy a new plastic liner on amazon if it get’s dirty, they’re like $3. The most popular ones are mold resistant and last for over a year in my…

i’ve started asking the person at the front of the house that we don’t want to be seated near families with young children when we go to family-dining places. sometimes i get looks from parents who overhear that request or even a little bit of attitude from the server if they have kids.

Dear Salty,

Both my wife and I work very hard and we think we deserve, nay, are entitled to blow off a lot of steam with a nice dinner out with our 14 month-old Instabook tenant.

Yet we get dirty looks (of jealousy?) wherever we go because we find it convenient to change our kid’s nappy at our table. (It’s the good…

Thanks for reading!

Tom, your articles are always informative based on your ongoing experience in the business, and having you here is a real asset to Jalopnik (a win-win). Thanks.