My in-laws go to Cape May, just south of Wildwood, for a few days each summer. The contrast between old-school Victorian seaside town in Cape May and the FUN FUN FUN YOU MUST HAVE FUN of Wildwood just up the beach is kind of fascinating.

I assume Philly pays better because beer is the lifeblood of the economy. $100,000 year selling beer is insane/amazing/everything America stands for. 

The only thing I love more than water in my wine is shattered glass all over a slick shower floor.

Here’s a couple ways to spot an unmarked cop car.

Hitchbot got what he deserved.

The Steelers are the St Louis Cardinals of the NFL, right down to the dipshit yinzers that go on about their “way.”

I gave up Twitter about six months ago and it was the most liberating thing I’ve done in years.  Fuck that garbage heap.  It messed with your mind to a degree I feel like we’re just starting to comprehend as a society.  

Revolution isn’t coming.  Because too many Americans envy these CEOs and think that they’ll either become one, or at least become the friend of one.  They’ll be tasting those sweet double-comma bonuses in no time. 

this a bit out of context. his comments were still odd, but he was talking about Acuna crowding in and leaning over the plate while also hitting 3 homers

Bill Burr nails this one.

I have a 12 year old. He is a really sweet kid and I absolutely adore him.

THEY’RE HOAGIES, JESUS CHRIST

Hating avocados is like hating sex. Either you’re doing it wrong or you’re catching some bad fruit. 

I live in NYC and it’s never even occurred to me to go to MetLife Stadium for an actual game. I’m more likely to do an Iron Man Triathlon.

As someone who, when he was 14 or so, was a genuine-article Reagan conservative, I’m not going to put too much weight on their current political affiliation. Right now, they probably live with Republican parents who have Republican friends who live tightly-knit in Republican neighborhoods. The whole point of suburbs,…

I’m trying to get sober right now. (It’s very, very new. Like, a couple days. Like, this is the first time I’m talking about it, online or IRL.) It sucks, and I admire Demi Lovato’s years of sobriety, of course, but also her honesty about her recent relapse. I hope she recovers from her OD and makes her way back to…

If it makes you feel any better, Drew, you’ll always be “Big Daddy Balls” to me. 

Am I wrong to think that there’s a heavy dose of irony that this particular brand of lament is posted here on Deadspin, where many (most) times facts take a backseat to hot-takey opinions? This place is just as culpable in the death of traditional media as anywhere else. In fact - name me one outlet private or…

Big fucking deal.

So it’ll take Melo three moves to get where he wants to go. That’s a surprising level of efficiency from him.