“And the match ends with the score tied at ____”

I was on a city bus once that rear-ended a car in front of it, because a bicyclist darted out in front of the car and made the driver stop short. The bicyclist then just darted away from the carnage he caused, without a care in the world.

A vegan, an atheist and a Crossfitter walk into a bar. How do I know? Because they told everyone in the first two minutes.

This is the same thing I said about Barbaro and you remember how that turned out.

Look around your office today. What if somebody asked you if there were any red flags about Joe from accounting? or Susie from HR?

MIND. YOUR. BUSINESS. WHITE PEOPLE. It’s not hard. The rest of us manage it just fine! Jesus...

Amy Schumer, come get your racist sister.

1. Half past never o’clock 

She seems to have handled the whole thing with tremendous grace and personal magnetism. The call-back and meeting with the person who called 911 is a brilliant tactical move. It shows her strength, and it serves as a real wake-up call to racists or scared people that their actions will be noted.

Setting aside the racism thing, does that woman look even remotely threatening? She looks like the world’s friendliest librarian.

No, KD joining the Warriors was wack. This is...let me check my reference book...ah yes...wiggedy-wiggedy-wiggedy wack. 

I’m just here for the whiny MRAs who decided that their pet project is to save one of the most popular film franchises of all-time from women and minorities. Watching these man babies still melting down over this movie makes my day.

I already love the actual movie The Last Jedi, so I have no need for this.

LMAO Waitress bitching about Bartender getting the lions share? Piss off, signed; Back-Of-The-House

Don’t be mean to itinerant soccer authors either or you will re-grey

Can’t get in trouble if you are adding -er, -y or -s to a last name.