My wife is not a minor, but she is someone else’s kid.

I work with about a dozen Penn State grads and there’s a little bit of Brad in all of them.

If Jim Tomsula found free shoes, he would immediately be known as “Jim Tomshoela”, and YOU KNOW IT.

That stare wasn’t for the laugh it was for the fart in the elevator.  But seriously, lighten up Karen.

Agreed on the pets. My wife grew up with dogs. I did not. She wanted a dog after a couple years of marriage. I hesitated, but ultimately relented (who didn’t see that coming), but had two rules:

Bush evaded those shoes because he was raised on a ranch with three brothers and he had a lot of practice learning how to dodge things being thrown at him.

I wouldn’t consider Dunkin Donuts a bar.

Thanks for the “too loud” office laugh. Fuck you Karen and your disapproving stares. I’m on lunch.

I’m 29 and used a phone book when I was younger, but I think you’re guess is spot on.

When I was a kid I would beg my dad to take me on his annual fishing trip. When he finally gave in we drove up 395 along the eastern side of the Sierra Nevada range past volcano craters, massive signs advertising beef jerky, small dirt roads that lead up to what looked like enchanted canyons, an Ancient Bristlecone…

To be fair, horchata is a summer drink, from my understanding. (Or at least, that is when my Latinx neighbors of days past used to primarily enjoy it.)

So, maybe your daughter, who I do realize was five at the time, was just making a deeper point about the inconsistencies in the details of the song, and how maybe they…

Even as a Cubs fan I agree about White Sox games. It’s a much more pleasant place to catch a game, not to mention cheaper. And I can take the Red Line there, too.

Yeah, Sox fans are the salt of the earth.

It’s always been like this. Doesn’t matter if they win or lose, people are going to Cubs games to get shitfaced in the stadium and at the bars just steps away outside. There’s pretty much zero parking in that area, so people just get on the Red Line or take the bus there and back. The bars are overcrowded and the…

Capital One giving out free coffee and snacks is amateur hour. My dry cleaner gives out free hot dogs on the weekend so I grabbed one, got in my car, took a bite and it immediately shat mustard all over my thighs and shorts.  Now THAT is playing the long game bitches. 

NYC sucks, but overall is pretty great

Just because he didn’t mention it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

As far as my biological clock - the 8 - 9 A.M. slot is usually when I get the urge (usually right after I finish my first cup of coffee). What sucks is my office building only has two stalls in each bathroom. This becomes a problem as many other people in the building seem to get their coffee shits at this time, as…

If you’re not taking a dump on someone else’s dime you aren’t living life properly.  Those of you that have hangups about public washrooms need to get over yourselves and accept this truth.

My family did at least one large road trip every year, typically a 10 hour drive from Kansas City to Colorado. There was one incident from those road trips that has stuck with me. My sister would sometimes get car sick, and one year she did so somewhere near Goodland, KS. What makes this one so memorable is that she…