Do NOT help short people get things off of the higher shelves. There is nothing we Hobbit-folk like more than jumping up fruitlessly trying to knock things off of the shelf to get them.

Thanks! I think.

Fold, don’t wad. You can get away with two squares this way with halfway decent TP.

I need an app like this on my fridge.

“Are you sure you should be eating 22 tostitos pizza rolls?”

“Nah you’re right. I don’t need it.”

“BUT I WANT IT”

“ACCESS DENIED”

“WUT???”

“ACCESS DENIED”

“The fuck, stupid fridge won’t open”

Goddammit why can’t Deadspin just stick to spor

ew no one is going to let trump piss on them and film it you disgusting bastard.

It’s piss, not shit. A golden shower involves piss. This is the highest office in the land, so please try to be as precise as possible.

alternate headline:

I hope they do “Springtime for Hitler.”

I was interested. You just have no attention span.

since he cant sell burgers at his restaurant and can’t sell his steaks at sharper image, he has to take his beef to twitter.

Obligatory “People still play this game?”

Yay, mass Pokemon genecide for all...

Its actually quite simple.

With all the Trump coverage, I forgot how cool it is to have an adult president.

Please please Mark Cuban. I’ve never asked you for anything. This is all I want.

Typical left-wing pinko liberal media bias tactics #101: quote people accurately.

You nailed it!

is he signing “G and “H”?

“My sister makes $20,000 and just bought a brand new Camaro 2017 working from home, using her computer and a webcam, for just 5 hours a day! click on the link to find out more!”