If I lived in Everett, Pennsylvania, I would hold a candlelight vigil outside that dude's jail cell. Because that shit is fucking HILARIOUS.

Nova special on PBS tonight on this very subject. Should be good.

Fuck yeah Hugh Laurie.

Okay, this isn't about a restaurant customer, but...

The owner of a very reputable used book store used to come into the bar where I worked. This is in Chicago. Nice guy, sometimes he would talk about the day he had.

So he told me that he had this real Mickey the Mope type come in and look around, and initiate the…

Taylor Swift has just gone way up in my esteem.

Pretty sure she's wearing my sister's old judo gi.

Beautifully, beautifully written piece, Ms. West.

It doesn't air until December, which is hopefully enough time for the costume designer to come to his or her senses.

It used to be my job to wrangle lambs for the Lincoln Park Farm-In-The-Zoo in Chicago. I grew up rural, so it was a nice gig. When you hold a lamb securely so children can approach for a petting event, you have to put your knee under her stomach so that she can't prong. Even a tiny lamb can knock over a small child…

I'm old enough to remember that Reagan wore his CONSTANTLY.

The classic raccoon video, originally aired on AFV.

This is a seriously gorgeous woman. Wow.

Dear Prada, if you're going to make a strapless evening gown, it requires boning so this does not happen.

I have long legs. On my last flight, the woman in front of me turned around:

Woman: You are bumping my seat.
Me: You have your seat reclined and I do not have enough room to cross my legs or reach my bag on the floor without bumping your seat.
Woman: You need to stop bumping my seat.
Me: I'll make you a deal. If you put…

Yes, exactly. What if they take their wages and buy contraception? Aren't employers just as "moral implicated" as they are by paying for an insurance company to provide it? After all, legally, benefits are a form of compensation. The SCOTUS ruling is weak weak legal sauce, man.

Oh, me too! The mouse in the kitchen. The dog lunging at her and Samantha in the Valley of fake purses. Now where's my box set?

Ah, and I deliberately mixed up my numeral/word combo in order to NOT have it read that way, too. Comment writer fail.

Walking through the zoo one day, I saw that the rhinos were mating. The male's penis was as long as my arm and about as big around, so there was some flailing about as he tried to connect. There was a little girl there, maybe 5, with her mom, and I heard the mom say, "See, honey, that's how babies are made," and I…

All the money Tina Fey made from her Palin impression? What? I guess we can add NBC and Lorne Michaels to the list of things that Palin doesn't understand.

I used to groom horses at the Lincoln park Farm-In-The-Zoo, and we had a Clydesdale that would let it all hang out whenever he was brushed. Try explaining that to a group of 30 eight-year-olds.