I rarely ever got into fights outside the home, because I was getting a rough education from my brother inside the home every single fucking day. But, once in a while, someone at school would go to far, and I would take out every ounce of anger I had against my brother on whatever stupid sap decided was going to try…

You can tell its the off season in sports because all of Drews articles are all user submitted. Hilarious but lazy, the American way!

Did his horse at least show more humility?

Best throw I’ve ever seen.

Clearly this is the flag Paul Dean flies outside of her plantation. It’s definitely butter.

“I’ve spoken with Native Americans across this great country. Two, in particular, really resonated with me. Their names were Tibia and Fibula from the Snapcreek Nation, and they just shattered me with their enthusiasm for the name. Absolutely cracked me up.”

Seriously. Fuck this shit. My father was also an emotionally abusive, selfish, cruel asshole who hit my mother and treated my like property. When my parents got divorced when I was 12, the judge forced me to see my father. No one even asked me anything, or how I felt. I was a mess, and I still am, 20+ years later.…

This is pretty much EXACTLY what happened to me during my parents divorce. My father was an abusive, selfish, cruel asshole who almost broke my mother’s hand (to say nothing of the years of emotional abuse. My brothers were spared that bullshit, thank god, it was just my mom & I that had to deal with it) & I refused…

Came here for Norwegian captions, was not disappointed. APPELSINJUICE! (which is apparently Orange Juice?)

I have the same feelings about native Baltimoreans and “hon.”

Guacamole becomes guacamole when you add lime and whatever variation of cayenne or other Mexican peppers. The tomatoes, onions and jalapenos are optional. And this might be an unpopular opinion - but guac sans onions and tomatoes is the best guac. Tomatoes and onions just interfere with the delicious and smooth…

Oh no! I’ve started calling other guys “buddy.” But it’s from my cat, who I call buddy. “Ohhhh, loogit the cute little buddy!” “There’s my big buddy!” “You’re the cutest thing ever, buddy!” “Buddy, please stop with the biting.” “Buddy, DON’T EAT THE OTHER CAT’S FOOD.”

Right? What the fuck is a plastic dumpster? Something that families with 11-year olds with diapers need?

Please think of us before you set off your fireworks.

Don’t be one of those assholes who are still lighting off loud ass fireworks on July 16th or whenever. Some turd who obviously has no job or decency shot off multiple rounds of fireworks in my neighborhood at 2AM a few nights ago.

And this is why moms are fucking ninjas. She knew, the whole time, that she’d get revenge for your shenanigans when you were an adult and were wracked with guilt, so she didn’t bother questioning you at the time.