“You can put anything up your ass, but it doesn’t make it a suppository.”

You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, dude. You don’t wanna know about it, believe me. Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o’clock this afternoon.

I’m just gonna go find a cash machine...

And an extra 5% off if you find the employee named Donnie and tell him to shut the fuck up because he’s out of his element.

I do know that there’s salt-free Mrs. Dash. I know this because the whole point of Mrs. Dash is to be a salt-free alternative seasoning.

McDonald’s first name is Donald.

Oh Mrs. Day, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to insult your son in front of you, but this is the internet.  I’m going to have to ask you to go back to Facebook now.

What’s great is it also apparently didn’t occur to Robinson and Bray to take a route that does NOT run you directly past the U.S. side of Juarez on I-10.

Greg Robinson has 2 options and neither of them are good. He could plead guilty and go to prison for at least 2 years or he could plead not guilty and remain a Cleveland Brown. Sucks to be him!

hell the best canned food for me is spagettios with meatballs.  i still have to have a can with a grilled cheese every once in awhile.  

Legalize it.

Yes, Trump has given up his $400k/year salary as president, to collect millions from in income from his stays/golf games at his own property. Oh, Obama didn’t send troops to a war that we couldn’t retreat from. That was G W, when he claimed that Saddam had weapons of mass destruction, that didn’t exist. And, the…

This troll cannot seriously be stupid enough to believe this.

How many videos of Amy Klobuchar saying downright dumb shit does one need to watch to realize she doesn’t belong this far along in the campaign?

Trump is an unrepentant liar and career con-man. I can’t decide if his followers are more stupid than evil but that is just a detail.

Especially after Fresh Off the Boat got moved to Friday nights.

“hope you don’t mind ma’, i borrowed some of your bleach and i shant be returning it.”