I knew it! Robert Caro IS a Deadspin commenter.

Ban all guns. Make them illegal to posses. Getting caught with one is an automatic jail sentence. This nonsense has gone on for too long. This amendment was authored by people who were okay with slavery. It does not, and should not, translate to 2015 America

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:

Warning: long and somewhat babbly, but this is just something I’ve been thinking about.

I don’t think the inherently violent job of being an NFL player and your job creating TPS reports at a desk is an apples to apples comparison.

And what was Baltimore before, exactly? It looked exactly the same. Same burned out buildings. Same shitty infrastructure. Same corrupt ass politics. You act like it was Stepford, Connecticut. You’re concerned about the elderly now, but what about those few decades before? Was it just “Fuck them” until they started…

The only requirement for being “from the Midwest” is being born and/or raised in the Midwest. You can do ballet and be from the Midwest. In fact, I’m in the Midwest right this second, and I’m going to ballet class after work tonight at one of the nation’s premier ballet companies. CRAZY!

I enjoy my false outrage as much as the next person, but do you really think these people stood idly by as someone killed themselves or were they simply unaware of what was going on until it was too late?

Greinke got seven pitches called strikes that were well outside of the strike-zone on his right side (the RHB box), including the first strike to Harper, so maybe it’s a little myopic to assume that Harper was only grumbling about the 3-1 pitch?

The red dot to the left, well out of the strike zone? That was his issue.

they’re only one championship behind.

Chano is the fuckin’ man. I really dig Surf, but I can’t wait for a full-fledged, solo sophomore record.

Also, look at how excited he got from this Kanye s/o:

Remind me to never go to a magic show with you.

Score another one for MLS, whose teams make sure their players can’t afford to travel to Tenerife in the first place.

Can you blame him? Imagine sitting next to someone who is constantly cheering for Matthew Della-Della-Della-Dellavedova.

Outtakes from Season 72 of Entourage.

You’ve proved the author’s point better than she ever could. So the people in Phoenix who can’t afford bottled water, tough boogers eh? If the tap water sucks, demand that they improve it. If it’s not possible due to environmental reasons, well then there’s reason that we call places like that the desert, and nobody…

There are MUCH more stringent regulations on tap water than on bottled water. Tests routinely show that tap water is healthier (even in comparison to water bottled from tap sources).

Buy a tap filter.