I do not feel bad for Chris Evans.

Basically every soccer tournament I’ve ever seen. Makes no sense (I beat Haiti by 14 goals and you only beat them by 10, so I get to advance) but there’s lots of stuff about soccer that makes no sense, like there being zero consequences for getting all up in the refs’ faces when they’re trying to talk to each other.

In any other sport, there are consequences for shoving and berating officials *while* they are trying to talk to each other. Soccer is truly special.

Defenses still matter. Didn’t a defense just win the Broncos a Super Bowl? Peyton Manning was essentially a spectator this postseason.

SHARKS SHARKS SHARKS SHARKS SHARKS SHARKS SHARKS SHARKS Everybody!

Nodding

It’s baseball. There has to be some (unwritten) rule that giving a thumbs up to an opposing pitcher is in fact code for, “I fucked your mother,” and if Hellickson doesn’t plunk Cabrera in his next at bat, his teammates will lose respect for him.

Nice to see Kessel taking a break from ruining the Maple Leafs.

I would never call a team that employs Prince Fielder “gutless.”

John Kasich is that guy one step above you on the corporate ladder who seems like a good mentor so you go out for drinks with him one day after work and he lays out his theory on ‘the blacks’ until you pretend your wife just called with a baby emergency.

Reasonable my ass: here he is acting like a pouty toddler when confronted in his stance of disallowing rape crisis counselors from telling rape victims they are allowed to have abortions. There’s nothing moderate, adult, or redeeming about this vile, dishonest cretin.

“What’s that stuff he’s doing near the rim?”

Once again, a black man discovers the Blues, but it’s white guys who make money off them.

As an Isles fan, I’m more pissed about them not playing defense in the last 40 seconds of the 3rd allowing Tampa to tie it then I am about the hit on Hickey in OT.

What he is saying (and I am just guessing) is that if you buy a glorious car, you should just wrap it because people will always fuck with things that they can’t afford. You can’t control what some assholes do when you leave your car outside somewhere. There will always be assholes around, but you can be smart about…

Thank God.

we SHOULD pay for overhead compartment space. It’s checked baggage we shouldn’t have to pay for. Carry-on bags make boarding and departing torturous. If one of these damn airlines would just do away with checked bag fees, and add carry-on bag fees, boarding would be infinitely more pleasant and faster.

May we never be on the same flight...

Oh, you’re one of those people. I will, without fail, kick you out of my seat.

You are the reason it takes twice as long to board an aircraft than it should. Thanks for making life a little more miserable for the rest of us.