The sound when the ball hits the bat ... I’m just imagining that screaming cartoon baseball that ESPN used to use for Baseball Tonight.

I’m at the game and it’s currently 13-4. I’ve been going to Mets games for a long time - longer than I care to admit - and I’m not sure Queens has ever been like this. Even when Endy was being Endy.

Actually, the fans were paid to chant “FANDUUUUUUUEL” throughout the game.

Does this mean MF DOOM and Ghostface Killah will finally release that DoomStarks album?

It’s like ESPN is actively trying to piss off the people who watch.

I'm not surprised. Usually a screwup in Bristol leads to a kid.

They don’t need to, which makes this whole thing they’re doing even classier.

See? THAT is how you respond to an Internet shaming.

When you trust any one company to meet all of your needs, you shut off the ability to make smart decisions about what you use, when you use it, and why. Instead, that loyalty forces you to contort your needs into whatever shape that company gives you. They tell you what to buy, instead of the other way around.

I used to think Apple fans were silly for buying into a mindset like that. Then I bought a motorcycle.

To me, it’s kind of like the difference between baseball and soccer. If I walk past my local park, I almost always see a group of people playing soccer. After all, it’s easy. You get a ball, a certain number of folk and have at it. Everyone runs after the ball and has a whale of a time.

By the looks of it, he’s used to people handing him things his whole life. Ayooooooooo.

(Lee Jury and Lee Executioner were not cited in the column.)

I should have included this in the original reply, but Mark Twain wrote a little observation about it.

“What’s homo milk? Is this milk from GAY COWS?!” he demands, utterly* seriously, even angrily.

I’ll say this. I would love to have a few beers on a boat with Mikey and J. These shitheads are the best example of the harmless, fun-loving Masshole. Whatever they are doing, you bet your ass you’d have fun doing it with them.

I’m not longer sure if it was real or a dream, but I swear I remember a time when a person, instead of posting it in the hope of going viral, would try to hide his ignorance.

How do you say “schadenfreude” in German?

As someone who does design and production (sound) for these kinds of events, I really sympathize with the awkwardness. It’s like you’re paid to be there, the attendees are paid to be there, the company’s staff is paid to be there-usually a few corporate suits are the only people who seem (often way out of proportion)…