“What’s homo milk? Is this milk from GAY COWS?!” he demands, utterly* seriously, even angrily.

I’ll say this. I would love to have a few beers on a boat with Mikey and J. These shitheads are the best example of the harmless, fun-loving Masshole. Whatever they are doing, you bet your ass you’d have fun doing it with them.

I’m not longer sure if it was real or a dream, but I swear I remember a time when a person, instead of posting it in the hope of going viral, would try to hide his ignorance.

How do you say “schadenfreude” in German?

As someone who does design and production (sound) for these kinds of events, I really sympathize with the awkwardness. It’s like you’re paid to be there, the attendees are paid to be there, the company’s staff is paid to be there-usually a few corporate suits are the only people who seem (often way out of proportion)…

The soup of the day is usually Hitler miss, but I’m sure you’ll just Goebbels up today’s gestapo soup.

I drive a Prius. Does this negate every single “shoulda bought a diesel bro” comment on Jalopnik I’ve been forced to read over the past 10 years?

Watched this live last night. There was some “fuck you”s exchanged between the two when their timing got out of sequence.

Besides a shockingly effective two games for the Giants in the 2012 playoffs

Yeah, but probably not worn by anyone over the age of 10 or under 70.

2003 was a very good year.

From the bay. Hate these hats. It’s like saying you like pie AND cake. No, you can only pick one, motherfucker.

wait a sec. If forced to choose between the blowhards on NFL Network, Fox Sports, or CBS, I would choose CBS 7.5 times out of 10 fingers.

From Peyton’s clipboard:

Boy, is he red-faced.

That is the face of a man who is staring unemployment in the face. It is also the face of a man who finds auto-play videos on Deadspin.

This is the best 500 days of Kristin yet

Law of averages - given an infinite number of chimps typing an infinite amount of YouTube comments, one of them will eventually be (a) non-racist, (b) funny…

Just one month ago I waited on a table with a mom and kid. They ordered tacos but failed to mention the kid needed them without lettuce and tomato until after the order arrived at the table. Mom asks to have them replaced: