that is not a dragon. a dragon has legs

i wonder if she can see Mecca from her kitchen window ????

Gah! I love your little guy. He's adorable. Dat face!

Holy shit, my time has come. I have a good one. Back a few years, I was on my way to a friend's house for general fun times. I was wearing a mini skirt and high heels. This is important as it sets up the general idea of why I wasn't prepared for this shit.

This isn't personal, but I can't get over those stingrays that killed Steve Allen and that other poor guy. When did stingrays become Wiley Assassins Of The Deep?

Then I threw my at in the ring.

Oh, I am so very many...

So, I live out in the country in a rural area outside of Dallas, and for a period of time was raising fainting goats which attracted a lot of predators. As it turns out, having a big, juicy goat that falls over when it's scared just screams "FREE BUFFET!!!" to coyotes and mountain lions. We were constantly mending…

When I was a little girl my father took me to visit one of his best friends, a herpetologist in possession of a cobra named Cathy. My father — who has never come across a bad idea he couldn't make worse— decided to have me press my little five year-old nose against the enclosure while he tapped on the glass.

In 1974, when I was 10 years old, I was bitten by a dolphin at sea world . My right index finger was split open to the bone. I did not even feel it, the kid next to me told me my hand was gushing blood and i went into shock. They used to have a dolphin petting tank prior to this incident. I now carry dolphin…

I think what was worse was that my neighbours were having a fancy BBQ next door and I screamed in disbelief: "THAT BIRD JUST TOOK MY SOCK"...to no one in particular. And everyone like 20 feet away looked at me in my laundry day clothes and mad looking hair holding one sock.

The time I learned that Rafiki from the Lion King was very poorly named. Baboons are not friendly. Baboons are aggressive, entitled meanies. And evidently misogynistic.

During the very first week of my college study abroad trip in South Africa, our group (which included three South African professors, one American…

A few years back, I was doing field research in a tiny village in Guatemala. I was staying with a very friendly Mayan family, settling in very nicely, but there was one major problem: Culito the rooster. Culito had no concept of time, and was very possibly suffering from some avian neurological disorder, because he…

This didn't happen to me, so call it apocryphal if you must, but it's still a great story I heard from a friend.

This happened to me last night actually. I am currently watching my roommate's boyfriend's pet conures (small parrots). Here is exactly what I text messaged to my best friend:

So we have raccoon situation in our neighborhood that has remained throughout the years. About 13 years ago I was walking to my friends apt and there were trees lined up dividing her driveway from ours. I was maybe 13 at the time. There I am walking, minding my own, about to reach her stairs that lead to her door when…

I was camping with my family in Goblin Valley in Utah when I was 14. My little sister was 4 at the time, and absolutely terrified of spiders. She would have night terrors about spiders, which she called Black Weirdos (any and all kinds of spiders). Funny to all of us, but not to her. (She also called skunks Forrest…

Yesterday I was drying my laundry on the washing line and a magpie flew out of nowhere and took one of my socks. I am convinced this is an ongoing thing and that's why I only have odd socks.

My parents bought a place out in the middle of nowhere to retire quietly and never have any neighbors again, ever. The first time I visited they took me on a walk around the property... and right over a yellow-jacket nest. Little buggers came out from their underground hidey-hole and swarmed me.

Does my dog's expression on a semi-regular basis count?