Reading. Fundamental.

Where's the part about Labrie being warned to stay away from girls, in case he might rape them? Oh, wait — that never happened, I'm guessing. Society fails, yet again.

I am angered by Anna’s insult to Andrew Dice Clay.

I really had no idea just how much I hate hippies until I read this. Turns out, I hate hippies a whole, whole lot.

Also-also, I’m right now at this very minute eating penne and Bolognese out of a PLATE, not a bowl, because I’m not a damn household pet.

Also, I’m grey again. Fuck this shit. I hate Kinja.

If you are an otherwise “normal,” healthy person and you have THAT much trouble eating off a plate without things sliding off it, you’re either 2 and a half years old or you just straight-up need eating lessons. Like, maybe you need those tiny, wide forks with the tines that are curved inward like my toddler used.…

Well, duh. They live to fight another day because they are SO BRAVE. They are the only ones who know THE TRUTH and won’t be cowed by Barry Soetoro Hussein Kenyan Muslim Lover Homosechsuhl Obama.

Jesus. <fanning myself>

DAMMIT. Now I will not be able to concentrate on work, home, or the commute in between. I’m obsessed with this Dakota comment.

I thought the same thing! Like, that woman is seriously into smoothies.

I know this rumor is not true, because Liam would never do this to me. He told me last night that I’m the only one for him.

And barbecue sauce.

Does Mailbox have a “this fucking email is from a bro, so send it straight to the most sulfurous bowels of hell” filter?

This is awesome news. I love her. I can't wait.

Who cares about the children? I don’t care about the children! I want to hear more about Yeezy’s asshole.

I want to touch your duck.

The woman doing the taking of the care of the babby must be younger ‘n’ hotter than the woman what birthed babby. RULES.

You are a wonderful parent. Even if you are not a parent.

I’m moving to Ohio so I can vote for this woman, based on her comment above. And I ain’t one for any temperature below 45 F, so that’s saying something.