That’s . . . more right than you know. Both The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi were a bit like a one-night stand with an ex. In spite of my best efforts, the marketing and the massive roll-out got the better of me, and I started to think that maybe I could re-bottle some of the magic of my youth.

You realize this is the same company that let JJ Abrams do Star Wars movies right?

This time 13-year-old Luke suckles on Aunt Beru’s teat while gleefully watching Jabba throw everyone to the Sarlacc.

No, but I fear the hot take machine would still somehow scorch me into oblivion.

Oh Star Wars, you dumb, self-flagellating perpetual train wreck. You’ve become cinema’s version of everyone’s worst ex we all cross the street to avoid.

So probably one of the reasons why this Game of Thrones season was so rushed is because they wanted to start working on their Star Wars movie soon. I still have hope the last episode won’t be worse than Mass Effect 3 or Lost endings, but I’m not so optimistic.

This time Princess Leia has torrid sex with Luke for several years before a building falls on them.

I look forward to the women who were kept as sex slaves by Jabba the Hutt start giving speeches about how that made them stronger people in the long run. 

Do you get synergy points between the topic of this post and your username and avatar? Cuz you should.

The unspoken corollary being that student debt is okay, so long as the people who incur it break the heart of a great woman so they can return to an incestuous relationship.

They’ll eventually be replaced by a new equally beautiful ecosystem that thrives on the pollution we’ll leave behind.

A pic of them on the great wall?

A real possiblity is that he will wage a war against Iran/Wakanda/Neverland to distract from his tax returns/obstructions/pussygolfing.

You did not mind boning when she was handing over all her goddamn dragonglass for free, how bout that!!!

LOL GRRM wanting more of something related to the books he hasn’t finished yet

Good Lord! GRRM wanted ten seasons, HBO wanted ten seasons.  Couldn’t these fuckers pass the torch to someone else?

This whole season couldn’t be more “let’s get this shit over with already.” Logic and characterization be damned. Last episode the magic fleet kills a dragon and Missandei in five minutes just to set up Dany going all Mad Queen. Then she does and it’s so ridiculously over the top it doesn’t even make sense. Even her…

D&D clearly just want to go home already.

Why didn't Dany use those battle tactics against the Iron Fleet and tell Scorpions last episode? Missandei might still have a head attached...

I think that was fucking Shadowfax