Hey Pope, think fast!

She’s not a sea creature; she’s an axolotl.

I’m frankly disappointed that the entire President is missing, rather than just his neck.

And yet, there’s still no end in sight to the East Coast/West Coast ventriloquist wars.

Rodin is fine, but I prefer his appearance in Destroy All Sculptors.

“Strider told me I have the plague.”

That’s actually a spruce cone. Snoop got played.

The “Turin Erotic Papyrus” article links to the “Dogs Playing Poker” article. Amazing.

I heard the whole movie is actually just a deleted scene from Ready Player One!

Redacted because it’s genuinely not worth engaging with such a patently disingenuous dumbass.

There are dozens of us! Dozens!

Ent it the truth.

“There’s no such thing as a “bad name,” really.”

“It’s not funny, but I get it.”

Alcoholics, the unemployable, angry loners…

No, that’s not it. Seafood isn’t particularly popular, but freshwater fish absolutely is. Just about everyone eats carp at Christmas.

Uhhh, ya got any gum?

One thing is for certain: there is no stopping them. The spiders will soon be here. And I for one welcome our new arachnid overlords…

Why can’t I do both

The only good thing about Jimmy Buffett is the episode of Yacht Rock he inspired: