The longest-running argument I have going with my sister started when I said I was glad Ally and Noah ended up together in The Notebook because she wasn't good enough for James Marsden and clearly had fucking terrible taste in men. I stand by that, despite my sister's hysterical screams of "BUT RYAN GOSLING!!" every…

"[Firth] has a briefly seen, occasionally mentioned fiancée named Olivia (Catherine McCormack), who is a fellow skeptic and an intellectual peer, meaning that she has no chance with him."

Can we just clarify something for the sake of anatomical correctness, unless you bring gynecological tools along, you can't sun bathe you're vagina. Your vulva, sure. You labia minora, sure. Clit, sure.

I actually can't stand hugging/physical contact. My family is very Italian-stereotype with the hugging and the touching and the face-grabbing, but somehow the impulse skipped me. I'll hug close friends or family if they initiate it (I'm not a monster), but when randoms/acquaintances do it I tense up like woah. I…

Oh, man, I can't hate on Woodley because she seems exceedingly nice and grounded. It's not my jam, but whatever.

For sure this is just an eccentric doll-making lady who loves kids, but has none of her own. She's likely divesting herself of her crazy doll collection by leaving them as gifts for kids who kind of resemble each of the dolls.

Thank you. I've never had a problem with calling men out on their behavior, however I've always understood and respected why most women do not. I once thought it would be fun to turn that Liz Phair song where she talks about how standing up to a guy makes her feel 6'1" instead of 5'2" inside out and backwards and make…

One day I was sitting on the bus behind a girl with headphones on with a guy started calling her "Blondie," and just generally telling her how he'd like to get to know her. He wasn't particularly crude about it, but it was clear his attention was unwelcome. But he kept trying, and she kept replying in monosyllables…

Fuck. If I had ever met Peter Falk, I probably wouldn't have been able to shut up about Wings of Desire. Also, a plane ride with any of the Kids in the Hall would be glorious.

I once saw Columbo on a corner at a car repair shop. My only other celeb encounters were even less famous. For instance, I was completely star struck once when my flight was delayed in Chicago and the airline put us up in a hotel and as all the passengers boarded shuttles to the hotel I discovered that one of the…

you know the wardrobe person for that shoot was like GET THAT DAMNED DOG OFF HER SHIRT, WE HAVE TO RETURN THAT SHIT

I've reached my Johnny Depp limit. I'm Depped out.

This is great! I'm going to check out her blog for recommendations for sports bras for plus-size women with plus-size boobs. Nothing I find ever works, and it keeps me from running.... An activity I loved as a kid, before the boobs and the weight came on.

Running makes me feel like I'm dying and I hate being sweaty, so I'm a swimmer, a fat swimmer, which my doctors have always been supportive of. When I swim, I get looks from the men (it's always men) whom I'm lapping, who just cannot believe I'm kicking their asses. Their stupid faces and attempts to beat me are a…

What do you mean 50 years ago?

You got married in a Liz Lemon wedding.

How about: Decided on Monday that you want to get married on Tuesday. Find old Easter dress in closet, and a green sweater to coordinate with hubby to be Army uniform. Realize that you have freakish number of green cardigans. Go to quaint small town courthouse, and are very excited about the ambiance. Then are told…

You forgot the worst one: The Dry Wedding.

how can you claim that an Indian wedding, particularly the 3-5 day variety, fall into the "Basic Wedding" category? they are at LEAST in the "Formal Wedding" category. There's nothing basic about any Indian wedding.

I'm not affianced, but over the course of the last several years I've mentally worked my way down from wanting The Beach Wedding to The Outdoor Wedding to The Courthouse Elopement.

Now I'm leaning towards The Common-Law Wedding.