Chaffetz is one of the most spineless, worthless, cowardly motherfuckers in the GOP today. He should be ashamed of himself and his weasely face. Ugh.

Trudeau is 45 and fit as hell, Cheeto is 70 and grossly overweight. I have no doubt that Trudeau clamped down on the feeble old bicep like, “Don’t even try it, old man. I will dislocate your whole arm.”

I swear, that fuck’s ego is going to kill us all.

Nope. I own this body. Squatter’s rights.

It further proves one can’t buy class.

Like, should we know what the guy who carries the nuke codes even looks like? I feel like this guy should go incognito everywhere, not be blasted on the twitters.

You just KNOW it was more about “letting people at Mar-A-Lago see how cool and important he is” than it was about actual national security. “Ooh looky me I’m president doing president stuff!” (Meanwhile Bannon pulls out a literal camera to hold over classified docs while Toddler In Charge smug mugs for the camera).

Despite this being 2017, it took me a minute to realize you meant the Secret Service and weren’t referring to the Nazi military group.

I knew Adele and Enya. That was it.

I totally believe that too. They can make billions, but every red cent will have to go back to the people.

Because our country was built on an ancient Indian burial ground and it’s finally coming back to haunt us.

Let’s put this “I know business so I can be President” myth to bed.

Well, his kids run the businesses, Bannon runs him and the country, leaving the orange shit-gibbon to stare at the glowy box and bitch about it on Twitter.

But how does he do it?? I mean seriously watch TV, run country, his businesses, run his kids, how does he do it???

Joe Scarborough said something nice about him once so Donald is his bitch now.

This is really going to help my New Year’s resolution to lose those pesky extra 10 pounds. Melania should co-opt a FLOTUS starvation fitness initiative. I mean, fuck a “White House garden” amirite

That’s what’s terrifying/frustrating, it seems like they’re stacking the cabinet etc. to essentially remove checks & balances, so that when we cry “you can’t DO that, that’s illegal!” they’re just like, “so?”

Well in 1891 Dr. James Naismith created a game using two peach baskets so rival gang members could settle their differences. Bill Simmons was on hand to document this historic moment and whine incessantly that none of these players could hold a candle to the 1986 Boston Celtics.

Imagine being uprooted from your family for life because of a decision you made out of desperation 20 years ago.

Jesus christ. With all of the problems law enforcement and our legal system need to be concerned with... we’re fucking throwing out human beings like we’re throwing out the trash. Dammit people! Just... dammit.