“I contain within me an overheating server farm of granular data about my children. “

Eh, I liked the movie but I hate the Hugh Grant dancing but. I feel embarrassed for him if I’m watching the movie with other people.

My mother at the birth of my child: “I never thought you would have a baby this cute!”

I also had H1N1 in February 2014, and so did my 3 year old son (after all 4 of us having flu shots in October, 4 months earlier - DH and older son never got sick). I am a workaholic but have never been so knocked on my ass. I literally could not get out of bed, and my then 7 year old son had to stay home from school…

I’m stealing “anecdata.”

Rebound.

Nothing will make me flip more tables than this little article:

MY boys would love it. But they’re 5 and 8.

When I was pregnant, I ate only saltines and fruit for my first trimester. I wasn’t nauseous so much as strong kitchen smells just killed me.

Ha! My husband plays Kidz Bop for our 8 & 5 year old in his car, but I refuse (they do love it though). Unfortunately, because I am an old, all my music was downloaded like 20 years ago, and it’s all explicit versions. That’s just what we listen to in my car. I wasn’t too worried about it until I saw the episode of…

I wish my kids (or husband) liked Bjork! Your kid sounds amazing :)

My 5-year old’s favorite song is Europe’s “The Final Countdown” - they would be friends!

Is it bad that I kind of want this to be my job?

I concur that the look is very 70s, but I came of age in the 90s, and at that time the look was very 70s retro too (like Lenny Kravitz). As a person that was born in the 70s, and came of age in the 90s, I must say that not all of that clothes is atrocious to me (though some is very bad).

Umm, swimming across a lake filled with ducks is like, my dream come true.

To spice it up and make it more funny next time spell it “bewbs.”

You are the adult, and you can survive listening to 20 minutes of screaming even if it feels like you’re dying, but your child can’t survive a steering wheel through the spinal column or a flight out the window.

It is the garment equivalent of a war crime.

My husband is restrained like this. It is very hard to be married to someone like this. I may have used the words “robot” and “automaton” to describe him. He just refuses to engage.

Looks like a pump, feels like a sneaker ...