I thought it was pretty obvious that this was a comedy on the USA network.

I’m still trying to figure out why porn sites have “share on Facebook/Twitter/Instigram” icons.

I keep imagining this:

Really. It’s the Internet, it’s still going to be there when you get home. Also, it’s 2015, not 1995; you don’t have to email yourself because you can’t afford/find storage for thousands of floppy discs - one external hard drive should do the trick.

Probably for the college credit or something. I knew a guy like that, too - super-religious, but took all the advanced science courses to get into an Ivy League school. Which he dropped out of after the first semester because he thought the students would be incredibly studious and never party, like it was a 12th…

I’m going with DadHumor. My first day of college, my dad told me the WiFi was hidden around campus behind the saint statues (it was a Catholic school). Except there were only 4. And they were all in this small courtyard. My roommate and mom believed him, though.

Obviously, these people didn’t take the advice of one of our great outdoorsmen.

When I was in 11th grade, I took an Environmental Science course. The teacher had a (very) short unit detailing the different theories of how life began on earth. Just to be difficult, a couple senior boys kept insisting that they were only going to believe the divine creation theory. Our teacher patiently explained…

Yeah, once I was at a restaurant with a friend, and we didn’t really have any comments to put on the comment card, but decided we wanted to leave one anyway, so we decided to quote Thundercleese from ‘The Brak Show’: Time is an abstract concept created by carbon based life forms to monitor their on-going decay. Our…

This happens mostly after getting out of the car, but my mom will yank my shirt down (even though I dress rather modestly). I’m 32.

I was sitting here thinking they should be charged with something, too, like being assholes while their acquaintance beat up the delivery guy. And now all I can think about is the Seinfeld finally where the group gets arrested under the “good citizen” law.

My period squicks me out, but from the fact that it’s blood, not because of where it comes from. A paper cut also makes me nauseous, although slightly less so, because there’s not as much blood. And pretty much all bodily functions make me feel that way. I deal, but there are tons of things I’d much rather be doing.

We had that problem at the library I worked at. People would be PISSED when we rejected their old, mouse-gnawed books that had been sitting in their basements for 30 years. So we started accepting everything, and had secret containers for donations that were to be sent out to the landfill. It was awesomely…

Yeah, not sure I can see it if the dog gets hurt. I don’t really care about the human characters, but the dog’s got to survive til the end!

Ugh. That’s such a stupid comparison, because 20-30 people and god knows where their hands have been? But 30 people handling a bar of chocolate when I knew they’d all washed their hands? Absolutely I’d eat that. It’s a better example of having safe sex than abstinence only, the morons.

That pretty much just explained Donald Trump’s entire existence.

I didn’t hear Pam Stenzal, but I heard pretty much the same thing, except using Play Doh instead of tape. I agree it was totally fucked up and should not be a thing.

If you float, are you a duck or a witch?

I can’t stand the red bubble - drives me up the wall. Although it’s a useful to text myself really important stuff. I never forgét because the damn bubble doesn’t go away til I delete it.

I vaguely recall enjoying this font when I was about 12. Then I discovered a thing called opensource fonts.