I said something like “Buy a used car, which is what you had!”

There’s no arguing that the best way to eat leftover pizza is for breakfast, cold (come at me)

Last week on SNS I posted about my father’s impending death, and so many of you replied to me with your own stories of dealing with dying loved ones. It was more helpful than you can imagine. I just wanted to update and say that my dad died early on Sunday morning, about 10 hours after I posted my story here. It was…

Well, I’m once again an employed person. I start in 2 weeks, and I’m so relieved but also like, man, there goes my free time. I have lots of fun things coming up though, so that will make for a nice transition time. Unrelated, yesterday in yoga, I tried a new pose and fell flat on my head and also somehow cut open my…

Sooooooo...she’s complaining the clerks were “coerced” into following the law because if they didn’t, they might go to jail...

The best packing method is to have your butler prepare your luggage and have them forwarded to your staff at your summer chateau. Alternatively, just keep an identical set of clothing in Monaco so you’ll never have to concern yourself with such trivialities.

When Mario “dies,” he jumps out of the way of the danger.

Not in any real danger?? Then what the hell do you call it when these crush him?

He needed water to turn into wine.

There is only one acceptable non-Rocky use for this song...

It’s the eye of the martyr
It’s the thrill of the Right
Rising up to the challenge of our (Supreme Court) trial
And the last known dissenter
Thinks Jesus supports her plight
And she’s watching us all with the eyeeeeeeeeeee ... of the martyr

You know in the Black Mirror world how you can block people out from your life?

That would reaaaaally come in handy with this bitch. I am done seeing her angry face pop up all over the place. Can she please just turn into a grainy blob of nothingness already???

This version is obsolete. See new version here

Well Joe Davis is a... is an... assbutt!

Ach, that sucks. Thankfully it’s pretty easy to roll back to an older version!

female politicking is “much less about ego and much more about problem-solving.”

I do that with work clothes as well. The dryer tends to rip them a lot.