I think I’d like a human size lounger like this.

I think I’d like a human size lounger like this.

Well, it would have to be Katy Perry - “Firework”, now wouldn’t it?

just cuddle it?

They actually called this out a while ago. The new ones are supposed to address this issue

They actually called this out a while ago. The new ones are supposed to address this issue

Except I’m pretty sure she’s saying “louse”.

One time I flew from LGA to DCA on a 737 that had a total of 5 passengers on it. It was so cool, they let all of us sit in first class and we skipped the safety spiel and drank free liquor with the flight attendants.

I actually don’t mind those, it takes a lot of effort and guesswork out of the gift-giving. Ah, you’re getting married? What can I afford? One fork? Excellent, happy wedding, here is your dinglehopper.

To this very day I know all of the words to the theme song. No ragrets. Sorry not sorry.

That sort of thinking has been helping me with my social anxiety too, even if I’m still far from over it. Accepting that whether I actually do something they dislike or just do nothing at all will get people to not care about me just as much helps me act.
If not acting brings an undesirable outcome, it’s easier to…

First get off the scale. just do not do it. weighing yourself daily is dumb unless you are doing micro management and also doing blood monitoring for glucose and making major changes to diet. Once a month step on that scale. Even with rapid weight loss you will see daily fluctuations of up and down. Go running and…

Light my fire, and they make a titanium version that is extra awesome.

Yeah, I hear you. If only it worked that way. And chances are, if it does, you’re probably still undervalued. I used to brag that I worked for a company that automatically gave me raises, until I discovered they were paying me about half of what they could afford and were willing to pay (when I quit). I didn’t really…

...Where’s the bleach? That was a mental image that I did not want and now I need some brain bleach...

Pan pizza inside the pillow case

So basically someone DIDN’T hurt anyone with a shoe bomb fourteen years ago and now we have to take off our shoes at the airport but literally tens of thousands of men, women, and children (including first graders in their school - a pile of bullet-riddled six-year-olds who still believed in Santa Claus) have been…

I’m always the first to volunteer for a bump. Matter of fact I deliberately plan my travel with an extra day on either end so I can do so.