I mean if you are truly horny for a Snickers ice cream bar, I’m sure as fuck not going to stand in the way of true love.

I wonder if we’ll ever just see the end of daytime talk shows.
Subjectively, I feel like they don’t really move the human condition one way or another; they just take up space.

Maybe find other purpose in life other than entertaining your genitals?

I’m almost certain there’s an inappropriate joke in there, somewhere.

In this age, I have a difficult time conceiving of why this would EVER be a good idea.

Holy actual fucking misery, Batman.

Um, whatever.

Yeah, this looks bonkers.

I hope there is some hardy mechanism in place to verify full vaccination, otherwise I expect shitty forged vaccination records and cries of "it violates ADA for you to ask to verify my vaccination status" from anti-vaxxers and other assorted varieties of fruitcake.

I do miss having my mouth sneezed into.

I'm looking forward to the inevitable court challenge, hopefully launched today.

I'm sitting in my Hyundai, reading this article, pants-less.

“If they would rather die, they had better do it... and decrease the surplus population.”

So, eligibility to be represented in Congress should be based on square footage?

“I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.”

The color red does not make a car faster.

I think most nerds know you can’t reasonably use a fleshlight without the patented sleeve.

Well I feel stupid.

I swear to god, there is something happening in the lizard-brain part of my brain when I see a fresh glistening Krispy Kreme donut.